KitKat

[webofevil]

Last night I joined the select band of people who have enjoyed the exquisite pleasures of a waferless Kit-Kat. Don’t get me wrong—if they brought out an official waferless Kit-Kat tomorrow no-one would be the slightest bit excited. It’s not that good. It’s only the rarity, the almost forbidden-fruit quality, and the puzzling questions it briefly raises about how Kit-Kats are made in the first place that give them their star quality, although I also choose to believe it means I’ll now have seven years’ good luck.

But raise those questions it did, and, some brief research later, I had had them answered: Kit-Kat wafers are fired at enormous velocity into huge vehicle-mounted vertical panels of chocolate. It’s no surprise, therefore, that sometimes a wafer will miss.



It also turns out that, intent on not being outdone by Nestlé, Mars Inc. spent the 1980s concentrating on research and development, with impressive results:
  

Comments

Schrodinger's KitKat

[internetsdairy.livejournal.com]

Then they fire the Maltesers through a pair of slats - they can behave as both orange and peanut at the same time!

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Maltesers are almost perfectly spherical, yet at the point of creation they are covered with melted chocolate. Why do they not have a flat bit on the bottom, where they rested after or during the melted-chocolate-adding bit of the job? If they were suspended using air jets, the chocolate would ripple. I have conducted experiments to answer this question using air-jets, rolling-while-adding-chocolate; adding-chocolate-before-plunging-into-cold-water^[1] and all sorts of other things.

EH?

My tentative conclusion is that each Malteser is individually polished by gnomes.

^[1] as we all know: this is impossible. We have all had a Malteser at some point which was incompletely covered with chocolate and yet whose honeycomb centre was in no way affected. Contact with water would cause instant core meltdown.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

MALTESERS!

Revels on the other hand are made by trained Palestinian rock throwers, who launch handfuls of assorted fondant centres through a chocolate waterfall.

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

I don't know if you saw pipistrellus's LJ, but I'm holding you responsible for my newly developed addiction to Maltesers. I pigged out on most of a large bag of them only last night.

Like the icon - I trust there will be an accompanying "TART" one?

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

On the weekend I actually, in a bowl, put 2 bags of Maltesers, 2 bags of Revels and 1 bag of Minstrels (all small bags, I hasten to add). These I ate whilst witnessing the Revenge of the Smiths, with Morrissey as Count Dooku, Johnny Marr as Lando Calrissian etc.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

Like this one, you mean?

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

Yay! (Your Malteser/Revel/Minstrels plan sounds brilliant. I may have to emulate it this weekend.)

[chiller.livejournal.com]

I KNEW IT.

Not the Archimedean Screw bit (although: nice thinking). I mean I knew the gnomes smoked, the little bastards.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

It's wrong if that turns me on, isn't it?

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Oops.

It's just the cigarettes, I swear. I don't have a thing for chocolatey gnomes.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

All pies are savoury. Fact.

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

And so it begins...

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

I'm getting t-shirts made of this one.

[(Anonymous)]

"Ceci".

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

That's what I said.

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

"çeci", shurely?

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

Not on the capital C.

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

Blimey, I didn't remember that. No wonder I got a D for my French A level.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

I'm not even sure it's true. I just said it so that I wouldn't need to change the icon again.

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

Bah. You chancer. You can keep your rotten pie, or flan, or whatever it is.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

It turns out it is true. I am teh Frenchness.

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

I know it's taking pedantry to the nth degree, but - well, we're all about getting the pie/flan thing correct, right? Anyway, the cedilla may be left of a capital "C", but it doesn't have to be, and apparently this no more true of the cedilla than any other French accent (in the punctuation, rather than the Clouseau, sense).