The Web of Evil

Sometimes these things just fall into your lap. A couple of weeks ago I nipped out from work to the Tesco over the road. I went to get a yoghurt and there, on top of them, lay a photocopied A4 sheet. For sheer attention-grabbing panache, I can't fault its headline:

Our correspondent mentions a website, so they have at least dipped his toe into the rapids of the internet, but they are apparently persuaded that secreting their information in supermarkets next to Parliament is a far more effective information delivery system. And to the extent that I am now passing it on to you, they're right.

( Full text under the cut, if you can face it )

EDIT: Hmm, the more that comes to light about Sister Ruth, the more i'm persuaded that this screed may be a revelation sent directly from the good Sister herself... [Thanks to clanwilliam for the legwork.]

For an institution that spends probably 80 per cent of its time merely repeating the phrases “human rights”, “democracy” and “the rule of law”, the Council of Europe does some surprisingly useful things. Its biggest headline-grabber was when it was the first body to officially confirm the Bush administration’s extrajudicial kidnappings, although I confess that, when I read the news reports at the time, I was entirely unaware of its involvement since my gaze slid off the name “Council of Europe” just as yours probably did at the start of this paragraph. (If that isn’t the case and you actually know what the Council of Europe does, you work for the Council of Europe and I claim my five pounds.)

A liberal talking shop that isn’t part of the structure of the EU but was a crucial precursor to its founding—the European Court is a part of it—the Council of Europe has its own building next to the European Parliament in Strasbourg and holds four parliamentary assemblies a year. They’re platitude-heavy and mostly predictable affairs (should you be in a back room, try randomly switching the sound on and off and see how often you can come directly in on the words “democracy” or “human rights”) but, crucially, they allow smaller or poorer countries to be heard alongside their larger neighbours, and they enable parliamentarians of a variety of nationalities, political persuasions and indeed abilities to gather and try to reach some common purpose. As with any parliament, the most important questions are all asked and answered offstage.

The Council is well placed to ask difficult questions, possibly because of its lack of notoriety. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the respondents to Paul Flynn MP’s critical report for the CoE on the dubious goings-on at the World Health Organisation over the swine flu non-demic only answered in the first place because they thought the council sounded more important than it actually is, a bit like flashing your Oyster card at the security guard at Vauxhall Cross and hoping he’ll mistake it for an MI6 pass.

Rather like the stretch of pavement outside my flat, the parliamentary sessions can be a forum for squabbles to get an airing. However, since any large spats between major countries would be played out at a far higher level such as the UN, the Council is mainly reserved for third-division stuff like this:

THE PRESIDENT – We now come to Amendment No. 7… which is, in the draft resolution, paragraph 12, after “it should be emphasised that a strong and active opposition is beneficial to democracy”, insert the following sentence: “This is the case in Moldova.”

Mr PETRENCO (Communist Party, Moldova) – We propose to insert the above sentence because we consider that the rights of the opposition in Moldova are being violated. There is an attempt by the authorities to ban the only parliamentary opposition party—that is, the Communist Party—as well as its name and its symbols. We consider that opposition rights are not being respected.

THE PRESIDENT – Does anyone wish to speak against the amendment?

Mr GHILETCHI (Ruling coalition, Moldova) – Mr Petrenco’s argument has no basis at all. No country name is mentioned in this paragraph, and the amendment intends to declare the Communist Party of Moldova the best opposition party in Europe. I propose to reject this amendment and keep the paragraph as it is.

Amendment No. 7 is rejected. [Source]

One particularly dependable source of conflict is the enduring hatred between neighbouring Armenia and Azerbaijan. Almost as soon as the two countries gained their independence from Russia after the Bolshevik revolution they went to war, which only properly subsided when both of them were absorbed into the new Soviet Union. The pilot light stayed lit, though, and at the first signs of the Soviet structure weakening in the late 1980s they were at it again. Azerbaijan maintains that at that point Armenia invaded and occupied several Azeri territories including Nagorno-Karabakh, while the Armenians contend they were liberating those regions’ Armenian populations. Tomayto, tomato.

Any opportunity to accuse their opponents of something nefarious is therefore grasped and pretty much throttled by either side, and the Council of Europe presents many such opportunities. During a debate on Kosovo, for example, the Azeri delegate who was due to speak—a woman who is the bane of English transcribers at these events due to her insistence on addressing the Council in her own delirious form of the language—that she had had to discard her prepared English speech and drawn up a hurried response in her much better Turkish to the outrageous allegations about Azerbaijan made earlier that day by the Armenian delegate in another debate. She then used her allotted four minutes about Kosovo to talk about Nagorno-Karabakh. This happens a lot. Informed that he wouldn’t have to report her as she had opted for another language, one English transcriber turned to his colleague and said, “Thank God for this war”.

This endless bickering led to a spectacular contribution to last Friday’s debate entitled, innocuously, “Forests: the future of our planet?”. While the other delegates had made the right kinds of general noises about trees—a vicious irony, incidentally, given the staggering volumes of paper that are wasted by the Council—Mr Huseynov from Azerbaijan felt there was an angle on the issue that was being overlooked: ( Mr Huseynov Goes To Strasbourg )
Sideshows aside, though, there is still ultimately some value in an organisation dedicated to banging on, however smugly, about “human rights”, “democracy” and “the rule of law” and encouraging regimes to give them a ago, given how much of the world is implacably opposed to all three. Spending last week seeing the workings of this mostly footling and infuriating but occasionally extraordinary body up close was an odd privilege.

“Mr Martin Burke founded Emotion Records Limited in January 2003. A request for approval was made to the Lord Chamberlain in December 2004, and a reply was received from Mr Jonathan Spencer, Deputy Comptroller in the Lord Chamberlain’s Office, on behalf of The Queen. This reply contained the honour of an invitation to alter the company’s insignia so that there is no confusion that the design E♥R (Elizabeth Regina Love) and its variations is The Queen's Cypher, similar to EIIR. A heavy metal label newly launched in October 2004 was suspended and the company changed.
“Prior to E♥R Mr Burke carried out fundamental work in Economics and Mathematics, discovering and defining a new mathematical object in 1997, The General Economic Measurement Scale. Simple illustrations were prepared for the Bank of England in 2005. An eminent academic confirmed no prior literature in 2006. The General Democratic Voting Scale was defined in 2007. Up until this time the science of Economics did not have a defined measurement scale.”

Martin Burke’s short paper on the General Economic Measurement Scale is reproduced here, in full:

“After 2004 Mr Burke worked on his own initiative and made a contribution with others to the resolution of several national and international emergencies: 7/7; Northern Ireland; Iraq; Afghanistan; Entrenching democracy in Pakistan; Darfur; The Burma cyclone; The North Korea nuclear crisis; The Royal Navy prisoners in Iran; The Lebanon War 2006; Developing the Palestinian state; Relations with Russia; Zimbabwe; Gaza; amongst others.

“Mostly this work is done in the office. However to see Mr Burke in action, please see this Sky News video of an interview with General Dannatt (the head of the Army), at 3 mins 6 secs, the man in the background walking right to left, in blue jeans, brown boots, black coat, carrying a rucksack.”

Yesterday Gerald Kaufman MP, presumably to make him stop writing in, read out a petition to the Commons from Martin Burke, who “has written to several members of the Commons and Lords individually and collectively in the past 3 years and now wishes to introduce himself and address the Commons as a whole”, bringing his discovery to their attention:

The Petitioner … requests that the House of Commons bears in mind The General Economic Measurement Scale and The General Democratic Voting Scale in its work on the current challenges facing the country and in its future law making, and uses them in its thinking; whatever the consequences to the petitioner of the small parts played by him in the above declared events; and the petitioner further requests that the House accepts these objects for inclusion in the House of Commons Library where members can see them.

Thanks to lowlowprices for bringing this urgently to my attention.

Wow. Since I last visited his site, this man’s mania has gone from strength to strength:

On … Thursday 12th January, I was watching the 10pm [Celebrity Big Brother’s] Big Mouth programme on E4. As the studio chat about the latest events was drawing to an end, just after 10.20pm, the presenter Russell Brand introduced the last piece—footage of the very latest goings on—so recent that he joked we shouldn’t watch but should close our eyes, and as the tape started running the caption underneath read “Exclusive—it’s never happened yet.”

It was footage of Michael, standing, having an argument with Jodie, lying on her bed, with Chantelle (and Maggot) present. When Michael became fierce and animated, Jodie suddenly looked like she’d had enough and sat up. Michael was speaking loudly and very fast without pause or listening to Jodie, but Jodie filled the frame and we could see and hear anything she said. While Michael continued speaking quickly, Jodie sat up and said something like “Alright, alright... “ (as if “Alright, alright, take THIS!”) and she defiantly said just one word loud and clear—MY NAME! Michael didn’t seem to hear and carried on for a bit longer.

A celebrity hadn’t just mentioned my name to another, but mentioned it in heated argument, under attack, as the ultimate weapon of last resort! As a crucifix to ward off the vampire! “If I mention the name of that X man^[1], you’ll run! If I let out the big secret you'll run!”

I recorded the repeat of this programme which was broadcast a few hours later, at 2.55am on Channel 4. But when I watched the recording I realized that they had now edited that few seconds out! They had edited the repeat showing of Celebrity Big Brother’s Big Mouth just to stop one word being broadcast—my name! You can clearly see the edit—the picture of Jodie jumps—one moment she springs up to say something in defiance, and the next, the edit jumps, and she's laying back, resting on her elbow again, having obviously just said something. I told my brother about it and showed him the recording, saying that at least the edit was proof they were censoring just even my name being mentioned, when he suddenly pointed and exclaimed, “Chantelle just said, ‘Michael, Michael—where’s Sumon?’” I replayed the recording, and as Michael turns away from Jodie to exit, Chantelle has been trying to get his attention to add a supportive and supplementary taunt to Jodie’s. Chantelle says “Michael, Michael... where’s Sumon?’”

So my name is Sumon. What’s the censorship for? What’s the big deal? Will the public all drop dead when they learn about me? Sumon! SUMON! SUMON! Don’t you respect the man in the street? Don’t they have a right to know what you know? […] Why did it take two women to do what men should have done? What’s wrong with men in Celebrity Land? Have they all been taken on an unfortunate trip to the vet’s? [Link]

He also includes an extract from one of the many letters he writes, this one to the commissioner of the Metropolitan police:

Younger people have no interest in politics, or authority, or even current affairs. Why should they have? Look how useless you all are. So take a look at popular culture. A couple of years ago, only one new movie in several openly referred to me in some way or other, but now it’s three in four openly referring to me in the title. Current movie releases are “Keeping Mum”, “House of Wax”, “Doom”, “Land of the Dead”, “The Brothers Grimm”, “It’s All Gone Pete Tong”, “The History Boys”, “Driving Lessons”, “Fade to Black”, “Revolver”. At the time of writing, three out of four new pop songs refer to me in the title. Oasis title their current album “Don’t Believe the Truth”, The Rolling Stones—“A Bigger Bang” ^[1], Coldplay—“X and Y” (X and why) ^[1], Robbie Williams—“Intensive Care”, the band U2—“How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb” ^[1]. The list goes on and on and on. American bands are all starting to follow suit. Not only is it ridiculous that one person has had such an influence, but that this person is still a taboo subject.

Are you seriously suggesting that you haven’t noticed TV schedules chosen around me, adverts, novels, newspapers all referring to me without mentioning me by name?

^[1] The letter X and any reference to atomic explosions are very special to him.

Oh, this is my kind of idiot. This man’s theory has been around for over 10 years, so if you’re already familiar with it I apologise for being late to the party. I’m not entirely sure how I’ve missed it, actually, because it has all the ingredients I enjoy: a questionably stable author with a scarcely comprehensible theory about the world that is THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN HISTORY, a howling mad website written in multicoloured oversized fonts and a galaxy of supposed enemies who are working overtime to ensure that THE TRUTH is never heard.

Here are the basics of the theory of Dr Gene Ray (Cubic). The north and south poles are static; there has to be a point, even if it’s microscopic, that doesn’t rotate with the rest of the earth. Also, one half of the earth between the poles is always shrouded in night while the other basks in daylight. The existence of these fixed points means that the earth can be divided into four distinct quarters, where one is at midnight, the next at sunrise, the next at midday and the fourth at sunset. In one 24-hour period each of those quarters will have passed through all four points, so the earth will have amassed four lots of 24 hours—meaning that, and stay with me here, what we know as a “day” actually consists of 96 hours. Furthermore, since the planet’s hemispheres rotate in different directions, they cancel each other out and thus, according to Wikipedia (admittedly, a phrase rapidly becoming the equivalent of shouting “... NOT!”), the theory might mean that the planet does not technically exist.

That’s it. That’s the theory. It’s not easy to glean from his website, though, which is (a) written in a style that is almost impenetrably idiosyncratic and (b) mostly given over to abuse directed at people who don’t subscribe to, or have not heard of, his Time Cube theory (we are “snotbrains”, apparently). But he is adamant that by believing in a single period called a “day” that the earth moves through as a single body—possibly, indeed, by believing in the very existence of the planet—we are being dangerously delusional. We have been brainwashed, partly by malevolent educators and partly by the Bible, into believing in singularity. This is important because everything in the universe has an opposite and thus everything is dualistic, while the number one is apparently evil. He claims to be an atheist, reiterating the non-existence of God and reserving particularly vituperative abuse for Jesus whom he labels a “queer Jew”, but on the other hand is insistent that unless we embrace his theory we are, literally, consigning ourselves to hell.

He who speaks, preaches, teaches, condones
or practices SINGULARITY - an evil that
equates DEATH by cancellation of universal
OPPOSITES - hemispheres, sexes, seasons,
races, temperatures, marriages and divided
cell (the human Cubic who rotates a 4 corner
stage family rotating metamorphic lifetime) -
should have their evil lying tongue cut out.
Educators are lying bastards.
-1 x -1= +1 is WRONG, it is
academic stupidity and is evil.
Dr Gene Ray (Cubic)

Several times Dr Ray (Cubic) lays claim to being “The Wisest Human”. He wouldn’t expect you merely to take his word for that, of course. For proof, he links to another website, thewisesthuman.com, with which he may have some connection. Just check out those credentials!

Connected to his theory of the Time Cube, in ways that are not entirely clear, is Dr Ray (Cubic)’s other core belief:

Word enslaves human mind more efficiently than shackle. Word is unnatural and must be taught to enslave dummies. Languages have deadly virus that will destroy the educated.
Dr Gene Ray (Cubic and Wisest Human)

Note how he is already striving hard to shrug off the shackles of communication. He can be seen doing the same in this interview, although rather more fun is this short film of science site SuperNova accurately explaining his theory.

In case some aspects of Time Cube theory still evade you, I refer you to this handy diagram from yet another of Dr Ray (Cubic)’s websites, cubicao.tk (Cubic Awareness Online).

Basically, if we all stop speaking and writing and believe really hard that there are four corners of the earth (which itself might not actually exist), each for some reason collecting their own separate amounts of time, which... which then... okay, I’m still not clear on that point, but anyway, if we do that, then humanity will be saved from obliteration. Now surely that’s a message we can all get behind.

A couple of years ago, j4 posted this about a dream she had had. Her light-hearted reference to a “M*nistry of Dreams” (you’ll see soon enough why I’m censoring it) has had unexpected side effects. The warning shot came in the form of a recent email:

From: janetmck / Janet McKnight stole the name of my ministry on site journal <thiefexposed@alumni.com>
Subject: write janet mcknight and ask her why she stole the name

G0d spoke the name m*nistry of dreams to me and he showed me put do not copy on website and that is higher than patent, but janetmck stole. here it is on her website, and will be on the internet soon: here we see that janetmck / Janet McKnight, j4, stole the name m*nistry of dreams to make it hers when it says do not copy on website, she stole and will release

The complainant, apparently called Bob, runs the M*nistry of Dreams, “a Christian warning ministry for the end times”, where he shares the latest dreams and visions in which G0d has had a word in his shell-like.*

j4, quite reasonably, did not remove her reference to the M*nistry of Dreams. This has made Bob, who appears to have a lot of down-time between visions, very cross. This is a selection of the 25 emails he sent her today; she has posted the full list here.

Subject: jan, Jesus tole me how 2 take u out, loose job,
Subject: do not copy on sites, u saw, fool, hated by all now hater of God
Subject: type into gogle janet mcknght stole the name
Subject: jan, its not funny now is it, how u like being embarrased
Subject: im going to make britain hate u, thief, liar, act like love
Subject: tony blair will see this, and order your site romoved
Subject: you stupid fool, u new better, make me fall, now fall in my place
Subject: visions are in reserve, Ill put back up, and have .com,
Subject: the longer u leave on, the more people find out,
Subject: the biggest fool of britain, I can take your board down now
Subject: appologize, repent, maybe I take down, but, dont have to
Subject: now, what do u think about Jesus the one u stole from,
Subject: u new I was elijah, now, open earth and swollow
Subject: your last waring was given, and u chose ruin, now reap bitch
Subject: ha hah aha, m*nistry of dreams caught o janet mack

Well, he certainly reads like a monomaniacal loon, but then being howling mad is pretty much a prerequisite for being a prophet. Maybe this is what would have happened if Isaiah had had internet access. And since, with the worldwide resurgence in religion, we’re forever being urged to treat people’s wildest beliefs with abiding respect or even reverence, I realise I have no choice but to worship him and his divinely inspired righteousness. All hail Crazy Bob.

* Sample quote:

God has showed me a spirit that looked like putin and he said, “russia will attack”, and I saw this president and he said, “russia will”, and I saw me and I said, “when the economy collapses”, and I saw hollie and she said, “russia”, “will attack”, “pray”, and I saw putin and he said, “can you beat russia”, “when the economy collapses”, “russia will attack”, “america’s trapped now”, “russia will attack”, “witness don’t care”, and I saw gene schmidt and he said, “thats what I need”, and I saw ann and she said, “wonder how he’s trapped”, and I saw this president and he said things like, “I’m bush”, “running out of money”, and I saw putin and he said, “oil”

[Information reproduced by kind permission of the clearly satanic j4.]

Back in 2002, NTK found this amazing extract. Unsettlingly (for me), there is now no mention of this either in NTK’s archives nor apparently anywhere on Google, but believe me, I didn’t need to make this up.

From How To Marry A High-Quality Woman, by (white supremacist) Elizabeth Bennett

Women get turned on by seeing men work, play, and just move around. Your reflexes are so fast! You are so much stronger than we are. It’s nothing short of mesmerizing. When you only let her see you sitting in a chair and walking down a street, you hide almost your entire self, as a man, from her. Let her see you carry the heavy pack. Lift her down off the rock.

If there’s a party, don’t just sit there! Organize a game that excites the girls: chase them around with a pair of vampire teeth. (Women are fascinated with Dracula.) Play murder-murder, a great cocktail party game where you get your sweetie off into the basement, a closet or an upstairs bathroom—and “strangle” her, leaving the other party guests to discover the “body” and solve the mystery of who the “killer” was.

Pillow fight. Grab her and point a silly toy phaser to her head and say, “Now you have to do whatever I want. You’re my prisoner.” Say, “I’m going to teach you how to dance. Come here.” If there’s a silly plastic Halloween knife (which you brought) on the coffee table then why not pick it up and say, “Hmm. This is a nice knife. (pause) Rrrrrrr! All the better to rape you with, Liz!” And hear her laugh and squeal.

Don’t be so uptight at parties. Women love to wrestle, hoping you’ll pin them down on the couch or the bed. If she starts gets feisty with you, grab her wrist, swing her around, and pin her against your body. Arm-wrestle her, but don’t beat her right away, let her feel your strength for a while: she’ll LOVE that. If you’re strong, lift her up in the air and throw her, or carry her around, either draped in front of you or piggy-back.

Everyone else is under the influence of the sick Jewish media and riddled with insecurity. They never have any fun.

The instructive bus ride kind of reminded me of another late-night journey a couple of years ago.

( Warning: contains BAD WORDS )