The Web of Evil

As anyone will tell you*, transporting horses for long distances is hard. There are many stories online of horses on aircraft being monitored closely by armed vets for the slightest sign of distress, when they will be immediately shot to avoid damage to the pressurised outer wall. Never mind that these are not true—what if they were?

We have had our best people working on a solution to just such distressing fictional scenarios, and the final results are impressive. Rather than expose horses to the manifold risks of flying, this proposal would see them exposed to the slightly reduced risks of seafaring instead. Chief designer Mary Anne Zimmerman kindly presented me with the finished design on my birthday:

For a detailed guide to the many features of HMS Seabiscuit (but, due to an error, minus the sparkly horses), click the picture below:


* Well, not anyone.

The Guardian ran this photo yesterday. Although "the shape of a flamingo" is stretching it, you can at least make a case for it being a pretty convincing duck.

It’s slightly unnerving, although for my money not as much as when a jellyfish stung my sister's arm—IN THE SHAPE OF A JELLYFISH.

I am currently away. Until service is resumed, here is a perfectly sensible clothes shop opposite my hotel whose name I confess to finding an endless source of childish amusement. I have no excuses for this.

The art world was in turmoil this morning after experts claimed that the snow picture created outside webofevil’s flat on Monday afternoon was signed not by the artist but by someone else entirely. Experts pointed to the different techniques used for the two elements of the picture—“dragging a foot in the snow” for the signature and “maybe some kind of stick” for the mouse or possibly bear itself—although other experts pointed out that this did not preclude the same person, thought to attend a local school, being responsible for both.

The work, originally credited to “Lucasta” and bought by Maurice Saatchi for £41,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, will now have to be put into frozen storage by experts until its provenance is established by experts. “It’s a disaster,” said an expert.

Given Thora Birch’s recent inexplicable cameo in my dream, I was a little weirded out to see this at Charing Cross last night. Is it maybe an ill-advised band name?

Can anyone explain this?



Is it of special significance that this sticker has been surreptitiously placed near a statue of Emmeline Pankhurst next to Parliament?

Others have already documented the ruin of Battersea power station more than adequately, but I wanted to share this moment from the jaunt around the site the other week. All that’s happened is that a kid has hefted his dad’s tripod on to his shoulder and pointed its leg at him while his dad obliviously takes pictures, but it manages to look like reportage of some terrible incident unfolding somewhere. “Another chapter in the bloody history of Palestine”, etc. Should I try to punt this to Newsweek?