Sistaz!

[webofevil]

“I don’t want to do this any more,” said one of my colleagues, a woman in her 50s, as we left the building. “I just want to spend my days riding my horse. But my husband doesn’t earn enough to keep me in the custom I’m used to.”

“Nice. Have you told him so?” I grinned.

“But that’s how it used to be,” she said. “We were always told, ‘Find yourself a rich man who can keep you’. I didn’t want any of that, I wanted to be independent. But as you get older... I should have gone to the south of France and shown myself off on the beach when I still had my looks. Far too late now. My daughter’s the same. She used to go out with [international UK rugby player]. Very tall. He used to fill my kitchen. She used to say, ‘But mum, he’s boring’. I’d say, ‘I don’t care. Stay with him!’. But she didn’t. She’s too much like I used to be. Still, she’ll learn.”

Comments

[suzanne219.livejournal.com]

It would be nice to move towards a situation where men and women can be dependent on each other in different ways at different times in the life cycle, e.g. childbearing, illness, disability, old age etc. in a way that's not always gendered but depends on your circumstances etc.

Unfortunately, if women are stll the ones that give up work to have children for any stretch of time, and subsequently have crappy pension prospects, (and are on average paid less anyway,) then to a certain degree they will be dependent, either on a man's income or the state pension (as long as it exists.) And women are much more likely to be ill or disabled in old age and so men are perhaps more likely to be carers at that time. So maybe dependency will always be gendered.

I don't know what I'm saying, really- maybe that there should be ways of organising work and families so that men or wowmen can be supported at various times, but I am being a hopeless woolly hippy here.

I used to have easy answers for this kind of thing. I know nothing anymore!

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> women are much more likely to be ill or disabled in old age and so men are perhaps more likely to be carers at that time

Statistically we're more likely to be dead by that point, mainly so that we can shirk caring duties.

[suzanne219.livejournal.com]

Yes, I was going to add that men are more likely to be carers "whilst they are still alive" but I didn't want to rub salt in it!

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

And women are much more likely to be ill or disabled in old age

Really? I thought it'd be the other way around.

[suzanne219.livejournal.com]

It's mainly because women live longer.