(no subject)

[webofevil]

In the absence of work in Parliament, I have spent the last few days in a marketing company harvesting email addresses for them, and correcting the ones that were wrong. Associated thrills=zero, but a couple of things stood out:

Me: Hi, is that Susie?
Susie: [cheerful] Yes.
Me: We've got you down as Susie dot Sparkles at...
Susie: [suddenly cold, offended] It’s Sparkes.

I didn’t see her problem, myself. “Susie Sparkles” would be a fantastic name. Then again, maybe that was how her schoolmates used to tease her. Still.

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Receptionist: So the first name is xxxxx Bowie.
Me: “Bowie” as in David?
Receptionist: Yup. And the other one is xxxxx Hindley.
Me: “Hindley” as in... oh.
Receptionist: Er, yes.

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The bosses wanted me to “do whatever it takes” to coax people’s emails out of their receptionists. “The girl who did this before found the most successful approach was ‘Hi, we’re opening a restaurant in your area, and we’d like to mail you about it’,” they said. Dignity fans will be heartened to learn that I did not do this.

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The RSPB’s “hold music” is the sound of wetland birds squawking away in the distance. In fact it might even be a live feed. It’s unexpected and relaxing, and you find you resent whoever eventually breaks in on it to ask you what you want. The girl I was reporting to was sat opposite me, though, so I really didn’t feel I could say “Could you put me back on hold for a while, please? It's rather lovely”.

Comments

[internetsdairy.livejournal.com]

The RSPB's "hold music" is the sound of wetland birds squawking away in the distance.

That's not hold, they just leave the receiver on the desk while they go off to get the person you want to talk to. They're infested with thrushes.

[offensive-mango.livejournal.com]

"Susie Sparkles" sounds like a porn name.

[internetsdairy.livejournal.com]

Sprinkles?

[offensive-mango.livejournal.com]

Yeah, maybe I'm thinking of Annie Sprinkle, actually.