In terms of fighting, let us have a fight

[webofevil]

It's entirely probable that this story will disappear today under the slew of stories about the Dear Leader comprehensively fucking himself in the foot, but I felt it was worth marking, if only because this doesn't happen often in the Palace of Westminster (outside the bars, at least). It's one of the rare occasions where a reported Westminster row is actually a row:

MPs IN TERROR LAW PUNCH-UP
Evening Standard, 9 November

v
Bob Marshall-Andrews (left), Jim Dowd (right)

Two Labour MPs traded blows in the Commons as tension over the terror Bill reached boiling point. Backbenchers outside the Members' Lobby looked on aghast as Bob Marshall-Andrews and Jim Dowd clashed.

Witnesses say they heard Marshall-Andrews, a practising barrister and part-time judge, call Mr Dowd a "faggot". Mr Dowd in turn went "ballistic" and lunged at him.

Mr Marshall-Andrews, 59, is an outspoken critic of the Government's terror plans. Mr Dowd, 53, who represents Lewisham West, is a former government whip. It is claimed other MPs were forced to step in and separate the men late last night in the hall next to the Commons Chamber.

It is claimed the spectacle of Mr Marshall-Andrews discussing the terror Bill with members of the Opposition infuriated passing Labour loyalists, including senior backbencher Barry Sheerman. One MP who witnessed the row said: "Barry Sheerman saw Bob talking to some Tory MPs and very aggressively accused him of plotting with the Opposition. Bob was just having an amiable chat with the Tories, asking what was likely to happen over the terror vote.

"All the aggression came from Mr Sheerman, Bob was very calm and relaxed. He responded by telling Mr Sheerman to go and sober up—at which Mr Sheerman said he didn't drink. Then Jim Dowd passed by, and also started berating him. Bob told Jim to clear off, at which point Jim lunged at him."

A furious Mr Dowd insisted today that he was the victim. He said the fracas began after Mr Marshall-Andrews hurled a "gratuitous insult" at him. Mr Dowd claimed: "There was no row. He just gratuitously insulted me. I said not a word to him, except to demand an apology."

One MP today claimed Mr Dowd angrily accused Mr Marshall-Andrews of being a "traitor"—an allegation vigorously denied by the MP today.

Okay, so it was a one-off, tensions were running high over the Dear Leader's latest attempt at outright coercion ("How would Jesus bully?")—but wait, what's this?

MP TAKEN TO HOSPITAL AFTER FRACAS IN RADIO STUDIO
Guardian, 15 October

v
Iiiiin the left corner... Stephen Pound. Philip Davies goes on to the next round

Labour MP Stephen Pound, 57, had to be taken to hospital for a possible cracked rib after a fracas in a radio studio with Tory MP Philip Davies, 33, over a leaked memo.

Radio TalkSport presenter Ian Collins said the two brawled like children in a playground, ripping in half an email printout from the Tory MP's office asking constituency supporters to ring to back him during a phone-in.

The deputy speaker, Sylvia Heal, intervened yesterday to stop verbal clashes in the Commons when Labour MP Kevan Jones cited the incident during a debate on compensation for minor injuries.

Bloody hell, I wouldn't advise trying to queue-jump this lot in the Strangers' Canteen.

Comments

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

I was talking to someone recently who was telling me what a nasty piece of work Marshall-Andrews is. I wonder who the "one MP" was whose story seems to imply that MA was simply sipping tea with one or two Tories, exchanging bon mots, when nasty old Barry Sheerman (have you actually seen Sheerman? This portrait of him as Jake La Motta from Raging Bull is highly risible) wades in stirring up trouble. I know nothing of Dowd, so he could be like Jake La Motta for all I know.

Pound, on the other hand, looks like a right bruiser, and that story doesn't surprise me in the least.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Dowd's my MP. *sigh*

[chiller.livejournal.com]

PS: ahahahahahaha the second report: "Pound" and "Heal". As a fan of the theory of nominative determinism, this has brightened my day.

[lowlowprices.livejournal.com]

You missed out this nice touch from the Standard:

"Tory MP Ben Wallace said: 'Tony Blair believes in trying to stop free speech. Look at the outcome.'"

Yes, when you think about it, that's an important truth.

Also, they had a photo of Janet Anderson with the caption "Amendment".