The thermal images that prove the Daily Mail is not a real newspaper

The Daily Mail is not running a genuine newspaper operation, The Web of Evil can reveal.

Associated Newspapers claims to employ a full staff of journalists to discover and investigate news stories, but the reality is very different. Instead its publications are filled exclusively with press releases received from PR companies and hate-filled rants and fictional articles written solely by the editor.

While the Mail is by no means the only daily title to be merely a conduit for the editor's prejudices and other people's PR, it is the one with the most prominent delusion that it is anything else.

Thermal imaging of Northcliffe House, home of the Mail titles, reveals it to be virtually empty
in the middle of a weekday. Only its editor, Paul Dacre, can be seen inside the building,
masturbating furiously to sadistic online pornography.

Don't even think about taking this seriously from a legal standpoint. A small child could spot that this is satire* and that none of the specific claims about Paul Dacre or the empty building are true.

* I didn't say it was necessarily very good satire. That's a different question altogether.