webofevil | (no subject)

Two stories from the above. The first, while no “Squirrels On Crack”, is still pretty good in its own right, while the second is reported in a gleeful tabloid manner that makes the Sun look positively sluggish.

COURT PUMPED UP FOR EX-JUDGE’S SEX-TOY TRIAL

Jurors in the case of a former judge accused of repeatedly exposing himself in his Oklahoma courtroom will be allowed to see a sex toy central to the allegations and to hear testimony about a second “penis pump” discovered under the judge’s bench, a court has ruled.

Ex-District Court judge Donald Thompson, 58, spent over 20 years on the bench before stepping down over a year ago. Prosecutors allege that he masturbated with a penis pump while presiding over two murder trials and a civil trial in 2003. He denies that and says the seized pump was just a gag gift from a friend.

Defense attorney Clark Brewster had asked Judge C. Allen McCall to suppress the pump because it didn’t work – and was sawed in half while in state custody. Prosecutor Pattye High said a state chemist dissected it to swab it for DNA traces.

The judge also rejected a motion to prevent testimony from a court reporter who claims to have found the second penis pump under the judge’s bench in 2001. Brewster had argued there was no evidence to link that pump to his client.

McCall did take under advisement other issues – including whether to allow the admission of 180 hours of courtroom tapes that prosecutors claim contain the whooshing sound of the penis pump in use.

Another potential piece of evidence is a photo that prosecutors say would help a witness identify Thompson’s penis.

If convicted, Thompson could face up to 10 years in prison and a $20,000 fine on each of three indecent-exposure charges, and would have to register as a sex offender.

The ex-judge's photo is captioned “Donald Thompson: Defense deflated”

FOXY BROWN IN ‘DEAF’ JAM

Dabbing tears from her false eyelashes, rapper Foxy Brown said yesterday she will stop performing indefinitely due to upcoming surgery for an unspecified hearing defect.

Foxy – whose real name is Inga Marchand – gave no details of her ailment, treatment or prognosis.

“It took a lot of courage to come forward,” Brown said, straining to hear reporters’ questions. “I read my Web sites every day, and I know everyone’s praying for me.”

The emotional revelation came as Brown, 25, left Manhattan Criminal Court, where she’s on the hook for allegedly whacking two Chelsea manicurists with her fists and her cellphone during a dispute over the bill at Bloomie Nails.

The ravishing rap roughhouser – who came to court swathed in Louis Vuitton and left in a Mercedes convertible – is charged with misdemeanor assault for that August 2004 manicure mayhem.