Thank God it’s Satire Day

[webofevil]

Postal workers are demonstrating outside Parliament today to protest at plans to sell off 30 per cent of the Post Office. Numbers were smaller than expected, however, as many of them were unable to find the address.

On discovering that they were not allowed to enter the grounds, several postal workers sustained serious injuries as they tried to jam themselves through the railings, while others lay around by the gates in the hope that someone would eventually carry them in. Meanwhile, a whole group of postal workers was found dumped in a bin round the corner.

Organisers have denied reports that the original plan was just to quietly drop a note through the door saying that thousands of people had turned up to demonstrate but no-one at Parliament had been at home.

Comments

L here

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, Weekending,
How I miss your dry witticisms
And theme tune by the Associates
Actually, the theme tune is the only thing I remember
Apart from that rejection letter
Oh, Weekending

[monkeyhands.livejournal.com]

I reckon someone ripped the pension fund open and nicked the money that was inside.

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

"Look, there's no number on the building - how can we be expected to protest outside it if you don't tell us what number it is? It's not my fault - you'll have to come to the sorting office at 9am on Saturday and watch the protest there."

[chiller.livejournal.com]

I visited my local Post Office today. Inside it is a small, glass-walled sub-room, like a little office. I was intrigued to note that it was literally stuffed to the rafters with vast cardboard boxes, from which protruded a surprusing amount of straw. Each was clearly labeled from a "Mr Ghandi" in India, addressed to an Indian name here at a UK address. The labels said "Metal".

They had all been opened, or profoundly damaged in transit. What had been in them? Why so many? What "metal"?

Then, as is my wont, having obsessively examined something, I cast a half-hearted look around the rest of the waiting area. There, behind the glass front of the Post Office till, were - stacked high - enormous brass and copper elephants - easily three feet high - dancing multi-armed Shivas, Ganeshas, the odd Buddha. They had replaced all the Post Office stock that normally lines the shelves.

Bear in mind this is a Post Office where you can't buy brown paper.

The Post Office staff were selling them on. I would've taken a photograph, but you just don't want to fuck with Post Office staff. Not when they've got all the gods on their side of the glass.

[bobgodjunior.livejournal.com]

It took me a while to work out what the little diagram meant. I r dumb.