(no subject)

[webofevil]

From O: The Intimate History of the Orgasm by Jonathan Margolis:

A less obvious form of orgasmic pleasure via oral sex occasioned by the proximity of animals was the subject of a slightly shocking speech in the House of Lords one June evening in 2003. Lord Lucas of Crudwell and Dingwall … proposing an amendment to a new Sexual Offences Bill, brought their Lordships’ attention to an old agricultural practice he knew of called avisodomy. This is oral sex in which a chicken’s anus is used; and not just any chicken. His description, as chronicled by Hansard, is something of a collector’s item. Avisodomy, he told the hushed benches, is “the practice of breaking a hen’s neck at the moment before penetration so that you benefit from the spasms that the animal undergoes afterwards”. Lord Lucas professed himself against avisodomy, but was concerned that it might avoid being outlawed because the chicken was clinically dead at the time its co-conspirator was enjoying his orgasm.

And, indeed, here’s the noble Lord’s speech in full.

Comments

[amuchmoreexotic.livejournal.com]

Lucas seems to think that "felching" means putting a gerbil up yourself.

[lebeautemps.livejournal.com]

You lot. Will. Shag anything.

[pete23.livejournal.com]

i like to restrict myself to stuff with a temperature between ten and fifty degrees C and reasonably neutral pH levels, but in essence you are correct.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Them! I mean them! THEY will!

Blurgh.

[g0ldt00th.livejournal.com]

As I understand it, neither the noble Lord nor I are proposing that masturbating an animal should be an offence, or using an animal in the process of masturbation. It is the only example of bestiality that I have ever personally observed, and I cannot say that it was a pleasant sight.

Oh I see. So getting your cat to lick tuna off your balls is OK then. Phew.

[lebeautemps.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't that be a bit like scraping them with sandpaper?

[g0ldt00th.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't know. I have an aversion to tuna.

[jimyojimbo.livejournal.com]

Christ, has he had Selective Face Shrinking done?

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Sorry, no, here's an actual photo.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

And a more recent one, which is kind of a compromise between the real one above and the fake.

[(Anonymous)]

I got it!
そうだ。レジメを神戸あて（４Ｆ経由）で送付して、
今月からイプソスの東京のリサーチにいるって書いておこう。
それで、来年はコーラのショッパー調査を渡辺さん（責任を押し付けられた
気の毒な営業まねーじゃー）と一緒にチームを編成して、
このプロジェクトを成功させる自信があります、と言おう。

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

“So is. The Kobe applying (by way of 4F) with sending the resume, the [tsu] [te] which on Tokyo of [ipusosu] research is from this month you probably will write. With that, next year [shiyotsupa] investigation of the cola Watanabe (the unfortunate business which can push responsibility you will imitate and - -) with will form the team together, there is a self-confidence which succeeds this project, that you probably will say.”

[offensive-mango.livejournal.com]

This is oral sex in which a chicken’s anus is used; and not just any chicken.

I don't understand this use of the term "oral."

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Is this maybe residual confusion due to the use in the States of the word “sodomy” to also mean oral sex?

[lowlowprices.livejournal.com]

...because the chicken was clinically dead at the time its co-conspirator was enjoying his orgasm.

Co-conspirator? Do chickens really conspire with people to do this?

Apropos of which, here's a link to a review of a documentary about that hugely improbable story I told you about of a boy masquerading as an MI5 agent and arranging his own murder:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2005/aug/24/broadcasting.tvandradio