webofevil | Does my Black Special look big in this?

I apologise for my earlier levity regarding the Government’s defence alert system. I know you’ll all join me in taking much more seriously this tried and tested code, whose full expression is “Bikini Red”, “Bikini Yellow”, “Bikini Black Special” and “Bikini Black”.

Fig. 1: The highest state of security alert in the United Kingdom

muffledsqueak has posted, championing the great lost alert code: “Why does everyone forget Bikini White?”

I admit that it wasn’t included in my briefing because it’s not included in the Government handout I was working from. Bikini Black is our standard alert state, which means it’s acknowledged that there might at some point be a terrorist attack somewhere perpetrated by someone. This has been true since someone invented the concepts of “resentment”, “anger” and “violence”. Some swift research later, I now know that Bikini White is the state below that. For us ever to stand at Bikini White would mean that global peace and universal brotherhood had finally been established, possibly due to the second coming of Christ.