webofevil | Jul. 4th, 2006

My friend R and I found ourselves stood directly behind Keira Knightley last night as the paparazzi snapped away (before we were hustled away out of shot), and as she turned side on I nearly dropped my drink. I swear she's barely more than six inches from spine to sternum. Maybe she's just naturally very thin but, if so, it's not the kind of thin that attracts jealous glances so much as concerned mutters.

Thanks to a last-minute invite from R, we were at the Pirates of the Caribbean launch party at the old Billingsgate Fish Market. Waiters dressed as pirates and wenches plied everyone with food, while people dressed as zombie skeletons had been hired to stagger among the crowds and occasionally collapsed in front of us. (Also, they'd like to direct.) The A-listers who were actually in the film stayed safely in the roped-off VIP area—apart from him out of Taggart [1]—so we got to spend the evening with the likes of Ian Brown [2], Dave Gorman's mini-me Danny Wallace [3], Naomie Harris [4], and her out of Narnia [5]. At one point we were sat at a table across from Jin and Shannon from Lost [6] & [7].

Also visiting the bars was legendary 80s club owner Philip Salon [8], dressed flamboyantly as a pirate with a huge plume coming out of his hat. However, as Salon has spent his entire life dressing up like that, I really wanted someone to go up to him and say "Bloody hell, Philip, couldn't you have made an effort?" Another couple of rum punches and it would have been me.

[1]