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Why have they never used the slogan, "Me love you Longleat"?

Fountain

This is London's most disappointing fountain. Over the junction from my house, it marks the spot where public hangings were carried out until the nineteenth century. The photographer has captured it in a rare moment of joie de vivre; normally it coughs, spurts and dribbles as if it's just been beaten up by a gang of other fountains. Six years I've lived near it now, and the above is the most animated I've ever seen it.

EXCEPT now we have water restrictions in place and we're the closest to severe water supply curtailment we've been in 30 years, the bloody thing's gushing like a fire extinguisher. The water spouts were taller than me when I passed it today. And not only is its timing terrible, but now that I get to see it in all its glory I realise that it's still rubbish. Disappointment all round.