(no subject)

Wrenched wholesale from the Times's "people weblog", here, in the wake of someone being told off in the Commons yesterday for using the word "crap", is a list of terms deemed unacceptable for use by the Commons Speaker.

You aren't allowed to accuse a fellow member of being drunk or a criminal. Beyond that, in defence of the good name of Parliament, it should be pointed out that the current Speaker is a bit of a hapless prude who finds almost everything objectionable.

Little squirt
Pillock
Odious little man
Member being on the side of the criminal
Smarmy charlatan
Bullshit
Second rate Miss Marple
Rifraff
Ignoramous
Cocky little barrack room lawyer
Had a few drinks too many
Slippery customer
Cocked up
Blinking like a gormless alien
Piddling
Disreputable
Intellectual chicanery
Dodging his taxes
Rogue Parliamentarian
Fascist
Dummy
Coward
Fraud
Nauseous personality
Balls
Stupid cow
Clown
Engaged in a crooked deal
Ethnically challenged
Frit
Cheeky bugger  
Demented hyena
Unctuous slob
Berk
Shyster
Baroness bonkers
Stool pigeon
Lickspittle

And now, "crap".

Of course, what we really need is details of who was being described in these cases and some relevant footage of them, so we can decide for ourselves whether the epithet was deserved. And "unctuous slob" obviously gets mentioned in dispatches.