Future chart

[webofevil]

Why does my junk mail folder suddenly read like an album chart? Is it a message from the future? Is this what the kids will be listening to in 10 years’ time?

1.  Maynard Hicks	Time To Make A Change
2.  Mary Convenient	My There
3.  Tonda Ward	Free Your Mind
4.  Holly Decay	It Soul
5.  Wilburn Chapman	How Do You Feel
6.  Incidence Booth	Go Maritime
7.  Conrad Winkler	There Is No Need To Parade Your Problems
8.  Preston Merritt	Right Timing, Right Choice
9.  Marianne Gonzalez	History Shows...
10. Clarence Cole	Our Service At Your Disposal
11. Jesse Tatum	YouGottaSeeThis
12. Ricky Clinton	Wrealistic
13. Adriana	It’s Adriana
14. Noemi Hammond	Relax And Take The Time
15. Juanita Schroeder	Join The Millions
16. Freddy Enterprise	Of Velocity
17. Clara Doss	You Will Love This
18. Plasma Kiser	G Section
19. Matthew Sanchez	Transnational Dispensary
20. Travis	Do U Remember

Comments

[strange-powers.livejournal.com]

Incidence Booth's new album Go Maritime is packed with the kind of safe indie rubbish that typifies the New London scene of 2017. Encouraging our teens to frolic in the never-ceasing flood waters that consume inches of our country daily is about the only radical idea they communicate, and only gets the thumbs up in these offices because it's likely those kids will then contract typhoid and die.

[offensive-mango.livejournal.com]

I LOVE PLASMA KISER OMAG!
G Section is da bomb.

[uniquefergus.livejournal.com]

Lord O lord, I could go hog wild with these.

I award you my gold star for best use of spam names.

*pin*

ps Conrad Winkler's the new Nick Cave, Maynard Hicks is a shoe-in for Country Music Awards and the god-like Matthew Sanchez can stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Loscil and Boards Of Canada since 'Transnational Dispensary' came out. Sublime.

Critical review

[bobgodjunior.livejournal.com]

1) Maynard Hicks is back on form, after making said change. 3 out of 5.

2) Mary Convenient follows up Sinatra's classic with a grammatically incompetent shocker. Not to be missed, for all the wrong reasons.

3) Tonda Ward enters the euro-dance scene, 20 years too late. Reach for the lasers, then reach for the prozac and cod-liver oil.

4) Holly, who is incidentally named after a guitar effects pedal, writes a song about the soul of IT. IT has no soul, so .. this reviewer is confused. Does not compute!

5) Chapman's gospel classic gets a well overdue re-release.

6) Incidence Booth team up with Spongebob Squarepants to create the jaunty little number 'go maritime', featuring in Spongebob's eighth film. They Might Be Giants were originally slated to do the film theme, but had to pull out at the last minute.

7) Conrad Winkler brings another brutal piece of German ragtime to the table, utilitarian in the extreme. Bottle it up kids!

8) Preston Merritt used to work in sofa advertising. nuff' said.

9) Marianne originally wrote this as an educational aid to teach her school math class about passing comment on various statistics. It snowballed, as history shows. arf.

10) Clarence Cole lives to give.

11) Jesse Tatum does it again - pre/early-teenage girls love him. Even though he's 46.

12) Ricky Clinton comes from the same stable as Rick Waller. Yes, the stable had double-doors.

13) Adriana's debut is rockin'. Concise and to-the-point, not much more could be asked from a debut single, although perhaps less of referral-to-self-in-the-third-person could be used.

14) Noemi spells her name different to the other Naomis. That's what makes this frankie goes to hollywood rip-off almost bearable.

15) Juanita persuades others to join the cult of scientology. This reviewer's not going there.

16) Freddy Enterprise, such a big fan of get-rich-quick schemes he named himself after one, brings a fresh sound to the table. Fresh like 2-month-old milk.

17) Clara hasn't done an honest days work in her life, but apparently people bought the song anyway. From the same production team behind Paris Hilton's latest.

18) Plasma Kiser (from Poland) bring the noise! Hardcore deathmetal at its best, about pioneering surgical procedures.

19) Matthew releases public-dividing neo-jazz - an album for the fans for sure. As my mate big Dave says, 'too poncy for me'.

20) hahahahaha Travis have resorted to spamming people to get fans ahahahaha!

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Maynard Hicks sounds as if it should have "The" in front of it, and sound something like the Soggy Bottom Boys or the Balfa Brothers.