The wonder of nature

[webofevil]

As we came back from Eat Club (at the Bombay Bicycle Club) the other night, ruudboy stopped suddenly under some trees. “I think I’ve just been shat on,” he said, and he was right: down the front of his shirt, some on his jacket and just a dab on his forehead. “I feel sick,” he said. “I can’t… Can someone…” Somehow it’s always easier to deal with unpleasant stuff if someone else is slightly freaking out about it, so I got the worst of it off him with a tissue, while offensive_mango was barely able to speak with laughter and took the occasional photo.

What was odd was that the stuff didn’t look like any birdshit we had ever seen. It was (and I apologise for the too much information here) a long turd that was an eerie shade of khaki and had obviously been curled off. Plus it didn’t seem to have come from too great a height; most of it had survived the drop and was perched jauntily on ruudboy’s stomach. We all, including rainsinger, agreed that it didn’t look as if it had emanated from any bird, news that ruudboy took badly. “Then what the hell was it?” he demanded. “A squirrel?” Which set offensive_mango off all over again.

Have squirrels ever been known to decorate passers-by? Exactly what was responsible for what I wiped off ruudboy the other night? Crucially, is there a website that can answer that last question? [EDIT: No, but there's this book.]



ruudboy’s medal of honour
(Photo courtesy of offensive_mango)

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