Procedures

[webofevil]

Although I now can’t find a reference to it, I’ll swear that, somewhere in the coverage of the fury over US soldiers’ apparent desecration of the Qur’an as part of their “enhanced interrogation” techniques at Guantanamo, I saw a quote from a senior soldier at Camp X-Ray saying that “We are investigating these claims, and if we find that they are true we will be changing our procedures”.

To anyone who isn’t a native English speaker, it may not be immediately clear that this phrase actually means “I’m not sorry and you can’t touch me; now piss off and leave me alone”, as used most often on consumerama perennial Watchdog by shady numpties who’ve been caught with their hands in the till (or things other than tills) (or things other than hands).

I’m not particularly having a punt at the American military here [listen closely and you’ll hear strictlytrue's eyebrow raise]; rather, I’m excited that this latest usage of this feisty little phrase will raise its profile even further. Here’s a typical example from the archives:

Police were critical last night after the Yorkshire Ripper frenziedly attacked and killed another prostitute. “It is regrettable that Mr Ripper has chosen to pursue this course,” said Chief Constable Ronald Gregory. In a statement released to the press, the Ripper replied: “I have taken on board the criticisms made by the police, and I assure them that I will be reviewing my procedures.”

Comments

Judge blasts Ripper's procedures as "not really reviewed"

[lowlowprices.livejournal.com]

Now is the time for levity. The bureaucratic language joke will soon turn sour when that titanic raft of legislation hits us squarely beween the nads.

Re: Judge blasts Ripper's procedures as "not really reviewed"

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

If you get hit between the nads is that worse than the nads getting hit, or is it a lucky escape? Or am I focussing on the wrong point?

Re: Judge blasts Ripper's procedures as "not really reviewed"

[lowlowprices.livejournal.com]

It's the parting of the nads to prepare for impact that really smarts.

Re: Judge blasts Ripper's procedures as "not really reviewed"

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

"The parting of the nads".

Sounds like something Moses would do.

Re: Judge blasts Ripper's procedures as "not really reviewed"

[lowlowprices.livejournal.com]

He could do it with outstretched arms. Those commandments really packed a punch.