... and now

Lord Tyler is a veteran Lib Dem MP who has been in the Lords for years, a keen proponent of the constitutional changes that the coalition has decided to make. Lord McAvoy is a veteran Labour MP but a recent addition to the Lords, one of several recently ennobled opposition peers who are apparently being blamed for being "thuggish" and disrupting regular Lords practice. Lord Howarth is an equally veteran Labour MP at whom accusations of thuggery are far more rarely levelled.

Lord Tyler [LD]: Some of us have seen a fascinating grid, the Opposition's speaking grid, that was left in some facilities of the House overnight earlier in the week. It was very helpful because we were then able to see when noble Lords were being instructed to speak on various amendments. Would either [Lord Howarth] or one of his colleagues tell us what the grid is for today? Then we could know when the noble Lord was going to speak and perhaps we could slip outside to have a cup of tea or even a snooze. At the moment, we are not given any guidance as to when various Members of the Opposition are going to speak, and that is a pity because we could make more progress. Also, if I can make a suggestion to the opposition office that produced this grid, it would be helpful to know how long the noble Lord will speak.

Lord Howarth of Newport [Lab]: I would personally be terribly disappointed if the noble Lord, Lord Tyler, were to take advantage of the fact that I was on my feet to go and have a cup of tea because I depend on his presence as a stimulus and discipline to myself. I might be tempted to speak more rashly and randomly if it were not for the invigilatory presence of the noble Lord in the Chamber.

Lord McAvoy [Lab]: In relation to the contribution of the noble Lord, Lord Tyler, does he know that just before we adjourned yesterday, Conservative Whips happened to find some papers that had been left in one of the gents toilets indicating a rota going on until six in the morning? There were then all sorts of phone calls and various messages went out to Conservative Members to come back quickly and to make sure that they were there. It turned out, somehow or other, that the paper was a hoax.

Lord Howarth of Newport: My noble friend has a knowledge of the dark arts that I could never match, nor would I wish to. [Hansard]

(no subject)

Gerry Adams “not allowed” to quit as MP

Gerry Adams remains MP for West Belfast despite dispatching a resignation letter to Westminster, according to the Office of the Speaker of the House of Commons.

The Sinn Féin leader’s decision to give up his seat has set republican disregard for parliamentary procedures on a collision course with the requirements of constitutional formality... under parliamentary rules dating back to 1624, an MP who wishes to quit has to apply for one of a number of obscure, paid crown posts: Crown Steward and Bailiff of the three Chiltern Hundreds of Stoke, Desborough and Burnham or Steward of the Manor of Northstead.

A Sinn Féin spokesman in Belfast said: “We couldn’t give a toss [about these rules]. He's not going to apply for these offices. He has sent in a resignation letter like any ordinary person. We want a by-election in West Belfast. There’s no written constitution; they just make it up anyway. It’s strange men who parade around in tights. Republicans are not losing any sleep over this.”

The parliamentary regulation is enshrined in 400 years of constitutional history and may be difficult to overturn without setting a political precedent. According to Erskine May, the bible of parliamentary procedure, it is “a settled principle of parliamentary law that a Member, after he is duly chosen, cannot relinquish his seat; and, in order to evade this restriction, a Member who wishes to retire accepts office under the Crown which legally vacates his seat and obliges the House to order a new writ”.

The Speaker’s office said there was one alternative route—or piece of political pantomime—open to Sinn Féin MPs, who have refused to take the oath of allegiance to the crown, as well as their seats in Westminster. If an elected MP who has not sworn the oath attempts to take his or her seat in the Commons during a debate, then that would also formally lead to their ejection from Westminster. Under the Parliamentary Oaths Act 1865, “if the MP sits in the house without having taken the oath” then he would lose his seat, the Speaker’s Office confirmed. Sinn Féin said Adams would not participate in such a political charade. [Guardian]

EDIT:

The Chancellor of the Exchequer has this day appointed Gerard Adams to be Steward and Bailiff of the Manor of Northstead. [HM Treasury]

(no subject)

Lord Knight: To ask Her Majesty’s Government, further to the letter from Lord Freud deposited in the Library of the House (DEP2010-2327), what was the methodology used to calculate that 750,000 private rented sector homes will still be affordable in London after the housing benefit reforms have been implemented.[HL5749]

Lord Freud: The Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State, Department for Work and Pensions (Lord Freud): I have written to the noble Lord to correct an error in this letter. There are fewer than 700,000 private rented sector homes in total in London, and a conservative estimate is that about 250,000 of these will still be affordable after the housing benefit reforms have been implemented.

That's 250,000 actual affordable post-Freud homes, "accidentally" inflated by the Minister to a fictional 750,000 -- an increase, as I'm sure he'd be the first to point out witheringly if these were someone else's figures, of 200 per cent.

Let's not forget that the chair of the UK Statistics Authority had to write to the DWP in November identifying serial "serious deficiencies" in the DWP's statistics. But are they lying to the public, or just rubbish at maths? Either way, this bodes pretty well for the big society.

American for “salad” (celebrity edition)

A recipe from Rush Limbaugh's grandmother, there.

From the highly entertaining Studies in Crap.

(no subject)

So far, in the space of one day, we have seen the estimate for tonight's finish go from 3am to 12.30am to 10.30pm and back to 3am. As Peter Cook said, "Is this a way to run a fucking ballroom?"

EDIT: ... and now back to midnight.