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Wow. Since I last visited his site, this man’s mania has gone from strength to strength:

On … Thursday 12th January, I was watching the 10pm [Celebrity Big Brother’s] Big Mouth programme on E4. As the studio chat about the latest events was drawing to an end, just after 10.20pm, the presenter Russell Brand introduced the last piece—footage of the very latest goings on—so recent that he joked we shouldn’t watch but should close our eyes, and as the tape started running the caption underneath read “Exclusive—it’s never happened yet.”

It was footage of Michael, standing, having an argument with Jodie, lying on her bed, with Chantelle (and Maggot) present. When Michael became fierce and animated, Jodie suddenly looked like she’d had enough and sat up. Michael was speaking loudly and very fast without pause or listening to Jodie, but Jodie filled the frame and we could see and hear anything she said. While Michael continued speaking quickly, Jodie sat up and said something like “Alright, alright... “ (as if “Alright, alright, take THIS!”) and she defiantly said just one word loud and clear—MY NAME! Michael didn’t seem to hear and carried on for a bit longer.

A celebrity hadn’t just mentioned my name to another, but mentioned it in heated argument, under attack, as the ultimate weapon of last resort! As a crucifix to ward off the vampire! “If I mention the name of that X man^[1], you’ll run! If I let out the big secret you'll run!”

I recorded the repeat of this programme which was broadcast a few hours later, at 2.55am on Channel 4. But when I watched the recording I realized that they had now edited that few seconds out! They had edited the repeat showing of Celebrity Big Brother’s Big Mouth just to stop one word being broadcast—my name! You can clearly see the edit—the picture of Jodie jumps—one moment she springs up to say something in defiance, and the next, the edit jumps, and she's laying back, resting on her elbow again, having obviously just said something. I told my brother about it and showed him the recording, saying that at least the edit was proof they were censoring just even my name being mentioned, when he suddenly pointed and exclaimed, “Chantelle just said, ‘Michael, Michael—where’s Sumon?’” I replayed the recording, and as Michael turns away from Jodie to exit, Chantelle has been trying to get his attention to add a supportive and supplementary taunt to Jodie’s. Chantelle says “Michael, Michael... where’s Sumon?’”

So my name is Sumon. What’s the censorship for? What’s the big deal? Will the public all drop dead when they learn about me? Sumon! SUMON! SUMON! Don’t you respect the man in the street? Don’t they have a right to know what you know? […] Why did it take two women to do what men should have done? What’s wrong with men in Celebrity Land? Have they all been taken on an unfortunate trip to the vet’s? [Link]

He also includes an extract from one of the many letters he writes, this one to the commissioner of the Metropolitan police:

Younger people have no interest in politics, or authority, or even current affairs. Why should they have? Look how useless you all are. So take a look at popular culture. A couple of years ago, only one new movie in several openly referred to me in some way or other, but now it’s three in four openly referring to me in the title. Current movie releases are “Keeping Mum”, “House of Wax”, “Doom”, “Land of the Dead”, “The Brothers Grimm”, “It’s All Gone Pete Tong”, “The History Boys”, “Driving Lessons”, “Fade to Black”, “Revolver”. At the time of writing, three out of four new pop songs refer to me in the title. Oasis title their current album “Don’t Believe the Truth”, The Rolling Stones—“A Bigger Bang” ^[1], Coldplay—“X and Y” (X and why) ^[1], Robbie Williams—“Intensive Care”, the band U2—“How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb” ^[1]. The list goes on and on and on. American bands are all starting to follow suit. Not only is it ridiculous that one person has had such an influence, but that this person is still a taboo subject.

Are you seriously suggesting that you haven’t noticed TV schedules chosen around me, adverts, novels, newspapers all referring to me without mentioning me by name?

^[1] The letter X and any reference to atomic explosions are very special to him.

The Sun-Ice Man

Sat in a sushi restaurant in Catford (possibly the sushi restaurant in Catford) with lebeautemps and chiller, I suddenly find a flyer being thrust under my nose by a man who has just walked in. “Can I give this to you?” he says. I take it but barely glance at it, assuming from its appearance that it’s for some club night I will never go to. (I also probably see, but do not note, the word “garage”.) Inspection, however, proves otherwise:

Stop that man

A Conservative Member of Parliament was stopped and searched by police under anti-terrorism laws after he was found taking pictures of a cycle path. Andrew Pelling, MP for Central Croydon, was searched by police officers who thought he might be a terrorist, despite him showing his House of Commons pass when they asked for identification.

Mr Pelling had been taking pictures of the cycle lane at the junction of Addiscombe Road and Cherry Orchard Road and said his motive was to highlight the “long-neglected bicycle and pedestrian route”, which had been of concern to his constituents.

But, as police officers drove past they noticed his behaviour. Two officers then approached Mr Pelling and asked what he was doing as they believed he had been taking pictures of East Croydon train station. [Croydon Guardian]

Flailing, idiot attempts at antiterrorism legislation have led to the possibility of falling foul of law enforcement for taking pictures of a station. Brilliant. Good work, everyone.

Now, this does happen to be the Tory MP who was arrested in 2007 on suspicion of assaulting his pregnant wife, but the chances of the officers in this instance knowing that about him are almost zero—they didn’t know he was the local MP, for a start—and anyway, whatever else that would say about him, it would not make him a terrorist.

This incident is not, of course, what the politicians behind the legislation intended. Instead, it’s quite dumb policing “on the ground” but, crucially, the officers had been given the powers to be that dumb. As the government have excitedly churned out criminal justice and antiterrorism acts at a rate that has led to some aspects not even having been implemented before new legislation has supplanted them, they have often airily dismissed the “thin end of wedge” argument as hackneyed and discredited. However, this minor but unsettling incident points to a tangible slide in civil liberties. Even under the last Tory administration, the police would have been hard pressed to come up with an excuse for detaining and searching an MP for taking pictures in his constituency—other than “he was black”.