Great Moments In Parliament #561

Lord Phillips of Sudbury: My Lords, I am sorry to interrupt the noble Lord. I am grateful to the noble Lord, Lord Swinfen, for raising a matter on which I myself pressed the Minister on the last occasion. He did say that he would write to me about it. I have told his officials that I have not received that letter and I am still unaware of it. I am also unaware of the authority that he refers to. Perhaps there is a problem in communication, but he is again asserting something which I am not aware is the case. But I take it that he has his facts right and I shall sit down.

Lord Bassam of Brighton: My Lords, I can recall signing the letter and I am told that it was handed to the noble Lord, Lord Phillips, on Monday this week. So I am somewhat puzzled that the noble Lord has not received it.

Lord Phillips of Sudbury: My Lords, it must have been the other Lord Phillips, the Lord Chief Justice.

Lord Bassam of Brighton: My Lords, we had better check on that, but I think not. The noble Lord, Lord Phillips, is far too well known for us to make such an error.

Lord Phillips of Sudbury: My Lords, I am sorry; I have just nodded to the Minister's officials in the Box. I now recollect that I was handed a letter, and I also recollect that I never read it. So I am altogether covered in confusion and I withdraw the point. [Hansard]

Citizens must not go bald

Plans for a national ID card scheme have been branded "farcical" after suggestions it might misidentify people with brown eyes or men who go bald

Commons pin-up Tony McNulty's comment is typical of the government's approach: "we think the technology can only get better and better and better."

At the heart of New Labour there seem to be two key ideas:

(1) implement change at all costs, because even if you make things infinitely worse, at least you did something, and

(2) anything with a computer in it is brilliant.

Also,

(2)(i) Anyone who knows how to work a computer must also be brilliant,

which is the only explanation for how easily this lot are baffled with bullshit.

This was vividly illustrated last year, when Alastair Darling proudly unveiled the new computerised section of the driving test. You sit at a monitor which shows footage filmed from the windscreen of a moving car. As soon as a potential hazard appears up ahead (mother with pram, truck turning left, member of government standing in road staring open-mouthed at computer, etc), you have to click the mouse, and the sooner you click, the higher your score. However, as this was being demonstrated by a roomful of students, it rapidly became clear that you could score highest not by demonstrating any knowledge of the road, but by randomly clicking the moment the footage started playing. Cue derision, embarrassment, the painful sight of middle-aged ministers trying to understand new technology. "Oh, gosh, computers? Gosh. Wow. Have some money."

?

The logo of courier company Lewis Day.




The cover of Stereolab's Instant 0 In The Universe

However bright the online version, the Lewis Day logo on the courier vans I see around and about is exactly the same colours as the Stereolab cover, leading to exactly the same fleeting confusement on my part every time.