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Ken Livingstone has really set the standard of responses to yesterday’s attacks. People have been very moved by his speech, which was indeed poignant and to the point—exactly the kind of thing he does best, and which he occasionally pulls out of the bag and briefly manages to make you forget what a knee-jerk pain in the arse he can be.
It’s almost unfortunate that his response was so apt, however, as it weakens my case for imposing a strict moratorium on the reporting of public statements containing anything other than straight facts in the wake of an atrocity like this. Vital sources of information become clogged with fatuous non-news like “Archbishop of Canterbury describes attacks as ‘appalling’” and “Prince William is ‘saddened’ by blasts”.
Such a blanket ban would also have meant we didn’t have to endure Charles Clarke’s usual stagnant oratory (“by definition when you’re looking for needles in haystacks you can miss the needles and the tragedy of yesterday is that we did miss the needles”)*, or Tony’s weird über-Shatner performance at his press conference (“It’s.” Long pause. Reporters look up from notepads to check he’s still there. “A bad.” Much longer pause. Some reporters take the opportunity to stretch their legs. Cameraman makes pot of tea. “Thing.”).
We also wouldn’t have had to listen to George Galloway. George fucking Galloway. Champion ofthe people some people George Galloway. His predictably blinkered “analysis”—that London has now paid the price for Iraq—is niftily dealt with here. He’ll never accept that while the West’s “interventions” in Afghanistan and Iraq have inflamed a great many Muslims, the hardcore fringe responsible for yesterday's bombings were inflamed already. But then he'll never accept that he's an unscrupulous self-aggrandising bully, either.
That said, a response blackout would then have meant we were denied the response of defence minister Adam Ingram (already responsible for labelling GG as “the MP for Baghdad”), who has apparently accused Galloway of “dipping his poisonous tongue in a pool of blood”.
* To be fair, this is how most MPs start speaking when anyone shows the slightest inclination to listen to them. And it's true that Clarke conspicuously didn’t take the opportunity yesterday to start barking about ID cards. Although he couldn’t, really, as exactly what the hell would ID cards have done to prevent yesterday happening?
It’s almost unfortunate that his response was so apt, however, as it weakens my case for imposing a strict moratorium on the reporting of public statements containing anything other than straight facts in the wake of an atrocity like this. Vital sources of information become clogged with fatuous non-news like “Archbishop of Canterbury describes attacks as ‘appalling’” and “Prince William is ‘saddened’ by blasts”.
Such a blanket ban would also have meant we didn’t have to endure Charles Clarke’s usual stagnant oratory (“by definition when you’re looking for needles in haystacks you can miss the needles and the tragedy of yesterday is that we did miss the needles”)*, or Tony’s weird über-Shatner performance at his press conference (“It’s.” Long pause. Reporters look up from notepads to check he’s still there. “A bad.” Much longer pause. Some reporters take the opportunity to stretch their legs. Cameraman makes pot of tea. “Thing.”).
We also wouldn’t have had to listen to George Galloway. George fucking Galloway. Champion of
That said, a response blackout would then have meant we were denied the response of defence minister Adam Ingram (already responsible for labelling GG as “the MP for Baghdad”), who has apparently accused Galloway of “dipping his poisonous tongue in a pool of blood”.
* To be fair, this is how most MPs start speaking when anyone shows the slightest inclination to listen to them. And it's true that Clarke conspicuously didn’t take the opportunity yesterday to start barking about ID cards. Although he couldn’t, really, as exactly what the hell would ID cards have done to prevent yesterday happening?
