"Best celebrity product endorsement" hall-of-famer

“The VRIL Generator will be a commanding force in the world yet to come.”

— George Harrison, received through spirit 1.24.04

From online mystical tat bazaar Onelight.com

Paul Marsden

I'm distraught to see that Marsden has taken his Vogon poetry offline. For anyone who doesn't know about the back-story of the LibDem (once Labour) MP, a quick shufti here should provide all you need, but the site containing his work no longer exists. This means we can no longer innocently enjoy his eye-gougingly bad erotica or his fiery anti-war polemics—except this ( paean to Dr David Kelly. )

EDIT: Via the miracle of some kind of crazy SCIENCE, nudejournal has managed to locate the Paul Marsden archive, preserved in Internet aspic for future generations. Now let's wait and see whether future generations thank us.

Like almost all MPs, Paul Marsden likes making the occasional amusing remark while debating. And, like almost all MPs, the man can’t deliver one to save his sodding life. Let’s watch one in slow motion.

PAUL MARSDEN: [pauses to prepare self for the hilarity ahead]

I remember that Jeremy Clarkson once said that the best way to make drivers slow down was simply not to put in more airbags, but to take them out and to put a large spike in the steering wheel, because then drivers would feel

[gets loud and excited here, anticipating success of impending joke]

that they had to slow down, because...

[slows down as he realises he hasn’t planned how to finish, ends up overshooting the runway anyway]

they would realise... the consequences... of what would happen if...

[oh God oh God make it stop]

their head hit the steering wheel.

[excitement over, back to the daily grind]

Maybe he would actually have a valid point.