Bear

[webofevil]

In a shop on the way to work yesterday there were two teenage bhangramuffins. One was over-excited; harmless, but jabbering loudly to his mate about something that had happened to him on a bus, almost yelling in glee. “Cut it out, man,” interrupted the other one, embarrassed. “Shit, we’re in a shop now. What j’wanna get?”

His friend a put a lid on it for a while, but couldn’t contain himself for long. Soon he was back up to much the same volume, but this time talking about a £1,000 watch he’d broken and was having to pay £50 to get mended so that his stepdad didn’t kill him. Normally, apparently, this watch is kept in a safe. “J’see inside the safe?” asked the quiet one. “Yeah, man!” said the unquiet one, and I swear as I left the shop I heard him say this: “A bear could shit in it!” Does this mean it’s spacious, or actually quite small? Or is that probably not what I heard?

Comments

[dukebox.livejournal.com]

"Bear" is slang for "very". Thus:
"A's bear good sh1t in it."
Becomes:
"There's very good things in it."
Which shows that he is indeed talking about a safe in which it is traditional to keep good things.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

The noble Duke is right. I wasn't aware of this, but slang dictionarbies seem to have records of it from at least 2003, maybe 2001. What a rubbish bit of slang it is, not least because it kind of sounds like that really sloaney way of saying "very" where you miss off the "y" and it comes out as "veh".

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Also, dictionaries.