So ordinary they named her once

[webofevil]

If you can really be said to have a “favourite bit” of September 11, mine has to be when I was glued to BBC news, which had been covering events uninterrupted for hours, and a big blue banner suddenly appeared at the bottom of the screen saying “‘NEIGHBOURS’ STARTING NOW ON BBC2”.

Running that a close second was the “breaking news”, in among the estimated death tolls and the overwhelming confusion and fear, that “DUCHESS OF YORK IN NEW YORK BUT ‘SAFE’”. Someone had decided the nation ought to be told this as soon as possible. I still don't understand. If they thought that worth a mention, where was the banner saying “webofevil’S MATE TURNS OUT STILL TO BE IN UK AND NOT ALREADY BACK HOME IN NEW YORK AS PREVIOUSLY FEARED”? Does it mean I’m an awful human being that my first reaction on watching the towers come down wasn’t “Please, Lord, let the Duchess of York have come through this atrocity unscathed”?

I ask this latter question because yesterday proved there’s something I’m just not getting here. Left jangled by the unpleasant experience of sitting at work watching another plane fly into another high-rise building in New York, knowing what that will have done to New Yorkers, the mental scabs it will have picked at and just how many stiff drinks will have been needed last night, I came home and switched on the news just in time to hear that “the Duchess of York owns an apartment in the building next door to the Belaire, but she left an hour before the crash”. Which in itself would maybe have been okay, but for the follow-up: “She is said to be fine.”

She left the building next door an hour before. How would she not have been “fine”, exactly? Just how slowly does this woman move? Or was this just to allay our fears that she might have developed a head-cold thanks to New York’s damp weather? Either way, why in the name of all that’s scrofulous did this warrant a mention on my fucking television?

Comments

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

My "favourite" bit of 9/11 was the guy on the NOTBBC forum who kept complaining about the fact "Crossroads" had been dropped from the schedules.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

I was in Dallas when Diana pegged out. I got a really concerned phonecall in my hotel from a friend at some ungodly hour saying "mla mla Princess has died..."

I thought she was talking about her cat and made consternatory noises. Until she said "No YOUR Princess!"

At which point I said "For god's sake, it's 2am," and went back to bed.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

You can press the purple button to switch off Justin Lee Collins... BUT THERE IS NO PURPLE BUTTON! THERE IS NO ESCAPE!!! AH-HAHAHAHAHAAAH!!!!

I know we all thought we had it pretty bad under Jimmy Carr - and we did, we really did - but it turns out that in the funny-as-bowel-cancer stakes he was just John the Anti-Baptist to Lee Collins's Antichrist.

[rawrphotography.livejournal.com]

Maybe Fergie left her apartment to visit the apartment next door!11!! In which case we should all be either grateful or ungrateful that she moves incredibly slowly, depending on our view of her as a 'person'.
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