(no subject)

I hope that these two things don’t sound terrible together, but I really loved this book and at times it felt as if I had written it. No, that definitely looks even worse written down.

“I gotta poo,” yelled Lieutenant Simon Wlodarski at the top of his lungs, hunkered down in the ruins of some forgotten city. Even with the mortar rounds flying overhead, he caught me snickering at him and quickly added, “God, I hate that acronym.”

“Poo” is [American] military jargon for “Point Of Origin”. It is called out by a spotter—usually one slightly less self-conscious than the marines reservist officer I was lying face down with in the half-buried ruins of an Akkadian city, around thirty miles south of Baghdad—to indicate where indirect fire is coming from.

James Hider, The Spiders of Allah

(no subject)

Some businesses thrive on a pun in their name. Outlet, for example, is an agency for rental properties for people looking specifically to live with other LGB(etc) people. This property rental company, however, might just be tempting fate:

(no subject)

This may not have been exactly what he intended to say. However, as secretary of state, it's up to him not to mis-speak quite so startlingly and appear to be touchingly concerned for the plight of convicted rapists. Also—not to bang this drum too much—this is a shining example of Hansard not smoothing over an embarrassing flub by the government front bench.

The Lord Chancellor and Secretary of State for Justice (Mr Kenneth Clarke): We shall also have to consider the arguments on the other side, where a woman can make an anonymous complaint, the man can eventually be convicted, after going through a long and probably rather destructive ordeal, and the woman retains her anonymity as she walks away, with her ex-boyfriend or ex-husband left to live with the consequences.

Hon. Members: What? [Hansard]

“Sod it, I’m not doing that again” award

(no subject)

A woman who battered a man to death with a glass tumbler and a mug has been jailed for a minimum of 14 years. Elizabeth Shields, 33, was convicted of murdering John Cook, 61, at his home in Barrhead in East Renfrewshire last October.

The High Court heard that she giggled as she told a 999 operator that Mr Cook was dead. She then rang her mother and told her: “I’ve just killed a man.”

The court heard Shields has 49 previous convictions for offences including breach of the peace and assault.

She launched the attack after Mr Cook, who had befriended her, ordered her out of his house. As he lay dying, she began cutting one of his wrists with the broken glass.

A jury was played a tape of her speaking to a 999 operator who asked if she wanted the police. Shields replied: “No, you need a morgue.” The 33 year-old then laughed and added: “He is pan bread, lying dead.”

Throughout her trial Shields denied murdering Mr Cook. [BBC]