Festive greetings

Parris on strategy etc

Matthew Parris in today’s Times

Last week I cited a Department for Work and Pensions list of its myriad heads of “communications”, “strategic communications”, “communication operations” etc. This has prompted a reader to send me a full-page newspaper advertisement, describing situations vacant in the Commission for Equality and Human Rights.

It advertises the positions of 13 different Directors (“Salaries £55,000- -80,000”): a Director of Policy, of Foresight, of Research, of the Disability Programme, of Business Planning, of the Commissioners' Office, of Legal Policy, of Legal Enforcement, of Corporate Law and Governance, of Information Management, of External Affairs, of Stakeholder Management and of the English Regions.

What is “stakeholder management”? What is “information management”? What does a “Director of Foresight” do? Why is there no Director of Hindsight? Why does the CEHR want a “Director of External Affairs”—are quangos now to maintain embassies abroad?

Well, each job is described. All require (the ad says) “strategic vision”, the Disability Director being required to “lead and direct a portfolio of strategic policy projects” (as well as “deliver the CEHR's mandate and cross-strand approach”), while the Director of Business Planning is “developing” “strategic policy projects”, and the Foresight Director is busy identifying “key strategic objectives”.

The Director of the Commissioners’ Office, meanwhile “will fill a strategic role”; the Legal Policy Director (“working closely with external stakeholders”) will “build strategic relationships” while “leading the development” of a “legal strategy”; and the Legal Enforcement Director will ensure the CEHR “meets [its] strategic objectives”. In a text no longer than this column, one clutch of vacuities occurs again and again:

strategy/strategic: 8

policy: 9

manage/management: 10

lead/leadership: 8

relationship/s: 5

build/develop/build and develop: 12

co-ordinate: 3

stakeholders: 4

The landscape is littered with “goals”, “objectives”, and “targets”. An insane climax is reached in the description of the Director of Stakeholder Management's role: “You will help build and develop the external face of the CEHR [though the External Affairs Director “will have a unique opportunity to build and develop the external face of the CEHR”] as an accessible, ambitious organisation. Key tasks will include co-ordinating stakeholder relationships... whilst co-ordinating a process that categorises relationships... You will also establish relationship management objectives and goals.”

On what planet, in what galaxy, in which cosmos do these people live? Is theirs an internal language, known only to a priesthood? Does the language mean anything to them? An entire segment of our fellow citizens is spinning off into a kind of linguistic oblivion, leaving us, gaping and bewildered, behind.

The first comment on the column:

I spent a while (a long time ago) working in recruitment advertising. I soon found out that the point of a job ad is not to describe the job in detail, in case you put people off. The idea is to 'sell' the role by creating a kind of verbal mood music. Words like ‘strategic’, ‘leadership’ and ‘stakeholders’ are designed not to communicate information, but to signal that this is a vaguely senior role in which you’ll be taken quite seriously. Public sector organisations use them a lot, thinking this will prove that they are modern, thrusting businesses.

I got out of recruitment advertising quickly.

The Cabinet Office human resources strategy