Get back in the knife drawer

I’ve come across a few short reviews I did some time ago for Rock Sound magazine, when it was making a point of covering any and all styles of music. Things electronic and quirky tended to get flung my way, with variable results.

If anyone who reads this knows anyone from the Knights... actually, I’m really not sorry at all. I was on the verge of mellowing with the passing of time, then I remembered all over again what this album sounded like, and now I’m considering billing the band for the time I spent listening to it.

KNIGHTS OF THE OCCASIONAL TABLE
John Barleycorn 2000
Middle Earth



Proud members of the crusty, grow-your-own-techno scene, the Knights are known for their cheerfully lo-fi ambient dub sound, i.e. their songs frequently seem to have been recorded in a mate's garage with a dictaphone.

Now they’ve decided to explore their roots by adding hurdy-gurdies and fiddles. ‘John Barleycorn’ is the oldest known song in English, and by covering it in their own half-arsed folk-techno style, the group has ensured that future generations will absolutely detest it. Eleven minutes of earnest hippies whining sandpapers the soul.

The dance tracks are flat and uninspired, although I’ll admit this is a redundant complaint, as all the production in the world couldn’t save them. The much-heralded covers of folk songs squeeze the life out of the originals, leaving nothing but, well, hippy whining. Instrumental track ‘Janus’ stands out as being a perfectly nice ambient electro doodle, but on a decent album it would be an interlude, not a highlight.

This is a far less interesting record than it gives itself credit for.

“Fuck off” out of 5

Sledgehammer/nut? You (statistically) haven’t heard the bloody thing.

(As far as I remember, Rock Sound went along with the star rating.)