“So what do you call the act?”

[webofevil]

Colombia clowns killed on stage

Two circus clowns have been shot dead during a performance in the eastern Colombian city of Cucuta, police say. The attacker jumped into the arena and fired before fleeing, police chief Jose Humberto Henao told Efe news agency.

Local reports say the audience of about 20 people, mostly children, thought the shooting was part of the show before realising both men had been killed.

Last year, a prominent circus clown, known as Pepe, was also shot dead by a unknown assailant in Cucuta. [BBC]

A possible clue to what’s going on can be seen in this picture, taken from the front page of the Clowns International website. Unfortunately the picture isn’t clear; if his index finger is not extended then he’s simply giving the thumbs up, or possibly hitch-hiking, but if it is, then he appears to be making a sinister threat along the lines of “I’ma pop a cap in yo’ ass, or at the very least some custard”.

If we immediately assume that this is the message Clowns International is trying to send—which I have certainly demonstrated to my own satisfaction—it is only to be expected in the wake of the vicious turf war that has erupted between Clowns International and Caring Clowns International. “Don’t bloody talk to me about Caring Clowns International,” said a spokesman for Clowns International. “Those hapless bastards do more harm than good. They’re a right bunch of clowns.”

With the clown world wracked by this kind of infighting, it is quite possibly inevitable that yesterday’s events in Colombia will soon be the norm. “I’m scared,” said a member of Caring Clowns International who did not want to be named. “We need to stop the madness. Well, the madness involving guns, anyway. Not all the other madness, buckets of water down your trousers and all that. That madness is fine.”

  

Comments

[uniquefergus.livejournal.com]

About two years ago, I tried to make a documentary series about clowns, and I rang the HQ of Clowns International in North London. The miserable bastard I dealt with turned me down, fearing I would 'make fun' of his profession. That would be the first time 'fun' and 'clown' had been linked in living memory.

Oddly enough, the Head of Mime at the RSAMD refused to recommend a good mime artist (for a different project) to me for the same reason.

Funny...

[chiller.livejournal.com]

It's about time someone took direct action on this issue.

[lifesizemonkey.livejournal.com]

Yeah it's part of the new wave of extreme sports. Only pussies still use those guns that shoot out a flag with the word BANG! printed on it anymore...

[lifesizemonkey.livejournal.com]

Jinx!

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Clowns International (http://www.clowns-international.co.uk/)? Are they like Amnesty International? Who do they want us to write to?

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

If you find yourself following that link, note, in light of yesterday's events in Colombia, the sinister posture of the third clown from the left.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Actually, that's fourth clown from the left if you notice and count the guy in the red and white stripes lurking behind the first clown, which I didn't.

[pvcdiva.livejournal.com]

good - I fucking hate clowns. They creep me out...

[internetsdairy.livejournal.com]

I once took some haunting seconds of footage of Grimaldi's grave, but it never made the cut.

Do clowns show up on television?

[uniquefergus.livejournal.com]

If they were dedicated to getting clowns thrown in jail without trial and subjected to possible torture I'd sign up right now.

[uniquefergus.livejournal.com]

You are caulrophobic, apparently.

One of the main reasons the show didn't get picked up was that I took it a woman at Channel 4 and she said something very similar to you. A month's work down the drain...

You're right though.

L here

[(Anonymous)]

I recently interviewed a man in Denver who was an Insurance clown. He was an insurance broker and 'Shriner' (those men that drive the tiny little cars on 4th July parades) and went to hospitals dressed as 'Cuddles'.

Only problem was that he looked like Uncle Monty from Withnail and I and he put glitter in his moustache. No man should put glitter in his moustache.

Re: L here

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> an Insurance clown
> went to hospitals dressed as 'Cuddles'

Cuddles: Hallo, and who’s in this bed?
Boy: Charlie.
Cuddles: Hey, Charlie. I’m sure Cuddles has an extra special present for you... would you like a special present?
Boy: God gave me a bad heart. I’d really like a special present.
Cuddles: Mm-hmm... Says here your health insurance plan has a maximum dollar amount, Charlie. If I may say so, that’s a foolish decision on the part of your parents. See, you have no way of knowing what your maximum out-of-pocket costs will be on a health insurance plan, so your deductible and your coinsurance mean nothing at all in terms of your eventual outlay. Would you like to honk my nose?
Cuddles’s Nose: Honk, honk.
Cuddles: Now, if your mom and dad had gotten their insurance agent to run quotes and look for several variations of health insurance plans with different co-pays, deductibles, and co-insurance levels, they could have decided which option would be best for them. But I guess they were just badly advised. Now, I’m afraid that pesky maximum dollar amount just isn’t going to stretch to covering an extra special present after all, Charlie, but I know what I can still give you... The gift of laughter! C’mon, now, smell my flower! Ha ha ha!
Boy: [feeble cough]
Cuddles: Have you ever considered life ins— sorry, kid. Habit.