L'Assemblée Nationale

[webofevil]

From the official record of the French National Assembly, 24 November:

M. Noël Mamère: Democratic debate requires respect for others: I ask you to apologise publicly for the remarks you have just made in your position as an MP. I am defending freedom, and do not regard myself as a threat to our country! If you consider, Mr Sartrosi, that defending fundamental freedoms constitutes a threat to the republican pact, you have destroyed the equilibrium! We do not have the same idea of democracy and republican values! Your remarks have wounded me (Exclamations from the UMP benches) and I solemnly ask you to withdraw them! Respect democratic debate, to which I am contributing like you, even if I am isolated! Perhaps you believe I am wrong, but let us wait for the verdict of the electorate—and of history!

M. Rapporteur: I had occasion to tell you this morning...

M. Noël Mamère: All the wonderful things you think of me!

M. Rapporteur: ... the respect I have for you as a Member of Parliament. With regard to Article 7, I believed I had reassured all and sundry. Words can be inflammatory, and I shall bear that in mind: your interpretation of the text is exaggerated. Let us return to the true meaning of this text, as I did in amendment 31, without ending up with such fevered exchanges! Recognize, Mr Mamère, that you are not helping the progress of our work... We are all devoted to fundamental, public and individual freedoms: let us stick to the text!

M. President: I’d like to point out that this was only a clarifying amendment... (Laughter on various benches)

This English "translation" (Babelfished, then panelbeaten) doesn't quite do justice to the original; as strictlytrue has previously reported, French lends a truly epic feel to almost any situation. All arguments sound as if they're conducted at swordpoint. I've really had to rejig it to try and do justice to "Nous verrons ce que diront les électeurs, et ce que dira l'histoire!"

Crucially, Les Comptes Rendus don't have the near-embargo on exciting punctuation that we do over here. At the first sign of trouble they break out the exclamation marks. (It could even be argued that they maybe get a little carried away.) Also they have stage directions, which Hansard is sorely lacking. It creates far more of an atmosphere when you know that there were "Murmurs on the UMP benches", or, as here, "Exclamations".


EDIT: Thanks to everyone who helped M. Mamère's interjection become a reality. You know who you are. You guys!

Comments

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Gosh, that does sound more exciting than Hansard. Although I think Hansard perfectly reflects the dry British character, probably in the same way Les Comptes Rendus (even the title is somehow epic and romantic) reflects the flair of the French. I like working with the French. They're very sincere.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> I think Hansard perfectly reflects the dry British character

But it does us a disservice. In 1999 the Earl of Burford, in protest at the imminent sacking of almost all the hereditaries from the Lords, leapt onto the Woolsack at the start of a session and proclaimed that pretty much everyone in the room was a traitor. What went into Hansard? "[Interruption.]" When lesbians abseiled from the Strangers' Gallery into Black Rod's lap, what does Hansard inform us happened? Fucking "[Interruption.]". This means it is not a complete journal of record.

Similarly, when Otis Ferry and his band of numpties spilled onto the floor of the Commons, it's a disgrace that the cameras were switched off. If they had had more sinister intent than simply demonstrating that they were miffed, and had actually attacked someone, the footage would make superb prima facie evidence for a court case, and posterity would also be pretty grateful. (Can you imagine the police's response to "Well, I was filming everything, but then it looked like it might start to kick off, so I switched everything off and then fainted"?)

[chiller.livejournal.com]

But that is, nonetheless, very British. It's the Parliamentary equivalent of the "it's just a scratch" Monty Python sketch.

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

Surely it's just something like "your very high opinion of me", but much more sarcastic, obviously? Maybe I'm being too literal about it though.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Yes, but what about that opinion? What does the beginning bit mean? Why is "pensiez" in the subjunctive? There's more to this short sentence than meets the eye. I've already asked one bilingual person and she was flummoxed.

[verlaine.livejournal.com]

It's the imperfect, not the subjunctive, surely? I only did French A-level, but I see no confusion.

"I had occasion to say to you this morning..."

"All the lovely things you thought of me!"

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

Still no report from my French sources, but I think this:

"All the lovely things you thought of me!"

is right. It's definitely the imperfect, rather than the subjunctive.

Translation software like babelfish gets confused by the juxtaposition of "bien" and "que", which it translates as the informal "although".

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

The entry about the FERMETURE DEFINITIVE is here. I've got some of my best people working on the "tout le bien" line...

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

OK - this just in from our French correspondent:

"it's quite old fashioned:
'all the good things that you think of when you think of me'."

It's some way off from "the effluxion of time", isn't it?

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

I have asked my francophile cricket chum for assistance.

Cricket drinks are on the 13th December in the Priory, if you fancy coming along. It's just drinks, and maybe a curry.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

No cricket? For shame.

That's a Tuesday, isn't it? I'll be working as per, but thanks anyway...

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

Well I don't know when the Lords term ends or anything. Grr. Publish and be damned, that's what I say, although I'm not sure what I mean.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Actually, I did tell you in the pub on Friday that we break up on the 20th—but then, I could say I told you anything that night and you'd have to believe me.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

What night? Eh? Who are you?

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

And my francophile cricket chum has replied:

"All the good that you think of me. Sort of. It's quite flowery and poetic."

So that was useful.