![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
The wonder of nature
As we came back from Eat Club (at the Bombay Bicycle Club) the other night, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ruudboy stopped suddenly under some trees. “I think I’ve just been shat on,” he said, and he was right: down the front of his shirt, some on his jacket and just a dab on his forehead. “I feel sick,” he said. “I can’t… Can someone…” Somehow it’s always easier to deal with unpleasant stuff if someone else is slightly freaking out about it, so I got the worst of it off him with a tissue, while offensive_mango was barely able to speak with laughter and took the occasional photo.
What was odd was that the stuff didn’t look like any birdshit we had ever seen. It was (and I apologise for the too much information here) a long turd that was an eerie shade of khaki and had obviously been curled off. Plus it didn’t seem to have come from too great a height; most of it had survived the drop and was perched jauntily onruudboy’s stomach. We all, including rainsinger, agreed that it didn’t look as if it had emanated from any bird, news that ruudboy took badly. “Then what the hell was it?” he demanded. “A squirrel?” Which set offensive_mango off all over again.
Have squirrels ever been known to decorate passers-by? Exactly what was responsible for what I wiped offruudboy the other night? Crucially, is there a website that can answer that last question? [EDIT: No, but there's this book.]
ruudboy’s medal of honour
(Photo courtesy ofoffensive_mango)
ruudboy stopped suddenly under some trees. “I think I’ve just been shat on,” he said, and he was right: down the front of his shirt, some on his jacket and just a dab on his forehead. “I feel sick,” he said. “I can’t… Can someone…” Somehow it’s always easier to deal with unpleasant stuff if someone else is slightly freaking out about it, so I got the worst of it off him with a tissue, while offensive_mango was barely able to speak with laughter and took the occasional photo. What was odd was that the stuff didn’t look like any birdshit we had ever seen. It was (and I apologise for the too much information here) a long turd that was an eerie shade of khaki and had obviously been curled off. Plus it didn’t seem to have come from too great a height; most of it had survived the drop and was perched jauntily on
ruudboy’s stomach. We all, including rainsinger, agreed that it didn’t look as if it had emanated from any bird, news that ruudboy took badly. “Then what the hell was it?” he demanded. “A squirrel?” Which set offensive_mango off all over again. Have squirrels ever been known to decorate passers-by? Exactly what was responsible for what I wiped off
ruudboy the other night? Crucially, is there a website that can answer that last question? [EDIT: No, but there's this book.]ruudboy’s medal of honour(Photo courtesy of
offensive_mango)
no subject
no subject
> If you really think it's something like a squirrel you could try googling for “scat”
Since when was “scat” specifically a squirrel thing? Was there an NHS campaign featuring Scat the Squirrel who suffered from uncontrollable bowels, or something?
no subject
no subject
I did not know “scat” had such an innocuous usage. Now I do.
Can we take a moment once again to reflect on this artiste’s unfortunate decision in his choice of name?
“#I’m the scatmaaan...”
(Connoisseurs of iffy early-90s dance pop may be as surprised as me to note that the Japanese consider that he warrants a “best of”.)
no subject
Speaking of
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
Incidentally, am I alone in the universe in finding shit, poo, toilets and sundry other bodily functions related to the excretion of waste at best tedious and at worst deeply unpleasant? I've never understood the humour connection.
no subject
Nobody can. It was deeply unpleasant.
Incidentally, am I alone in the universe in finding shit, poo, toilets and sundry other bodily functions related to the excretion of waste at best tedious and at worst deeply unpleasant? I've never understood the humour connection.
A good bit of toilet humour is sometimes okay, but as a rule I find fart jokes - eg the Petomane bit in Smell of Reeves and Mortimer - deeply unfunny. Which is ironic, as in the restaurant I'd been doing the Filthy Rich and Catflap thing of waving my hand in front of my face and apologising every time the buzzer went that announced some food had just arrived in the dumb waiter. Clearly, in retrospect, this incident was karma.
I couldn't possibly thank H enough for the cleaning help he gave me - if he'd have asked me to marry him at that point I'd undoubtedly have accepted. The shirt went straight in the bin when I got home.
no subject
You heard it here first.