“Practice screaming into a pillow. This makes it much easier for beginners”

[webofevil]

How to scream for metal/hardcore/screamo

“Drink lots of water before, during, and after screaming.”

During? “Gottle of GEEEEEER!”

Comments

[caro7.livejournal.com]

I liked the rather joyous selection of links to similar articles; perambulating led to me to this gem: How to Look Gothic Without Your Mom Screaming at You.

'Lay off the white face paint. Seriously, you don't look great, you just look lame. Try a little powder if you want that ghostly complexion, and put it on *after* you leave the house. DO NOT forget to take it off upon getting back in the house.'

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

You’re right. You could perambulate to your heart’s content on this rather silly site. As someone younger than me once said, “Abandon work all ye who enter here”:

How to behave at a rock concert

It's always nice to wear a shirt of one of the bands performing, and it's generally annoying to see a kid wearing the clothing of a band that is not playing at that particular show. If they like that band so much, they should go to THAT show.


How to have loads of fun at a rock concert

Listen to the words and maybe remember the chorus and then sing along to it next time they sing it. Or even better, download the lyrics online a week or 2 before the concert and learn the songs, that way you will understand and enjoy them lots more... People will be really close to you so take a bath and be clean.


How to attend a ska gig

Arrive and scope out the scene. You might arrive when the doors first open. Use the time from when you get inside to when the band starts playing to familiarize yourself with the venue. Check out the restrooms, bar, and first aid so you know where everything is. Find a good spot, so you can see the stage and have enough room to dance, and wait until the show starts. Use this time to chat with friends and other show goers. There is usually some music playing while the band [or their roadies] set things up... Getting lost in the city is easy. If you are not familiar using transportation or getting around, ask for help. [I’m amazed this particular entry doesn’t appear to include instructions for wiping your arse.]


How to dance properly at a show

If the song is slow (really slow), don't headbang. that is when it is time for moving the head side to side, swaying back in forth like you were in a trance. Do what others are doing, if you are the only one headbanging, you will look like a retard.

Finally, however much irony might be ladled on to these entries—and, honest to God, it’s so hard to tell—I thoroughly recommend How to rock out (http://www.wikihow.com/Rock-out).

[caro7.livejournal.com]

Bravo! One can almost hear the legions of American 13 year olds straining to locate their 'rock muscles' as one writes...