#Goodbyee, wipe that fly from your eye, goodbyee#

[webofevil]

Here's a thing: if you're walking along and a tiny fly suddenly hurtles directly into your eye—I refuse to take responsibility for this, by the way, how come he didn't see me coming?—don't just wipe your eye and assume he's panicked and flown away, off to tell his fly mates about his near-miss and having a few breathless pints down at the fly pub. It's entirely possible that he is still there.

I was just about to walk back into the office from the toilet just now when I noticed my reflection in the brass nameplate had a strange black dot in its eye. Investigation revealed this to be the carcass of the small fly I had encountered the day before, which had spent the ensuing 24 hours drowning beneath my eyeball.

This is by far the most digusting thing to happen to me this year, and I fervently hope it stays that way.

Comments

[trashmcstate.livejournal.com]

That is horrible, I have a thing about eye things and now I feel a little ill.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Apologies for any "little illness" my little tale has caused. If it's any consolation, the amount of Optrex I have slooshed around that general area since what I can only bring myself to refer to as The Incident means that I probably now have the cleanest and goddamn healthiest eye in Christendom. Optrex is your friend.

[trashmcstate.livejournal.com]

Arrrgggghhhhhh.

Slooshed and eye are words that should not be contained within the same sentance.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Hmm. How about:

Mine eye, on edge since into it
A flying insect flew,
Is kiss’d by gentle Optrex
Its trauma to subdue.

Best I could do at short notice, I'm afraid. Or indeed with about six months' warning.

[trashmcstate.livejournal.com]

It's a wonderous thing, I feel cured.
I thank you.

have you considered a career as an eye poet?

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> have you considered a career as an eye poet?

I'd like to, but Apple have the patent.

*rimshot*

[trashmcstate.livejournal.com]

I will start the slow handclap now.

Purely for that last comment I have decided to add you to my "friends" list. I trust this is an acceptable thing to you?

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

It is entirely acceptable, although I warn you the quality of my punchlines can go down as well as up.