They're alive! - Part 1

[webofevil]

Idling through Freeview the other night, flaneurette and I are talking with BidTV on in the background. The shot is framed so that there’s only one area your eye is really drawn to, and it’s not the product. We’re talking with one eye on this mesmerising view, and then we both suddenly yelp as the damn things move.

The woman doesn’t move her arms. She’s not breathing any more than she already has been; in fact, she’s mid-sentence. What has she got in there, and does she know it’s alive?

Shortly after this shot she moves her right arm up to hold the toothbrushes, but it’s at an odd enough angle that you realise immediately someone in the gallery has told her to for God’s sake obscure them as they’re all anyone can concentrate on.

The clip is better quality if viewed here and at its actual size (button shown below), giving a clearer image of just what it was that freaked us out. We’re not over-reacting, are we? I mean, it’s not right.

Comments

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Wurg! That is strange cleavage action!

[offensive-mango.livejournal.com]

DAMN. There are some days when I REALLY WISH YouTube weren't blocked at work. I have to wait until Sunday to see this!

[sleeperesque.livejournal.com]

I don't know what the fuss is about - it's just strong bob muscles flexing!

[sleeperesque.livejournal.com]

*boob

[pageantmalarkey.livejournal.com]

I similarly can't see what the fuss is about. That is a natural and not unusual side effect of talking.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> There are never any around when you want them, certainly.

But can you ask them the time?

[uniquefergus.livejournal.com]

Just when you think you've seen every trick...

[ruudboy.livejournal.com]

Is it relevant that it happens immediately after she says "30,000 strokes a minute"?

[j4.livejournal.com]

Only women breathe.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

But she's not breathing! She's midway through saying "30,000 strokes a minute"! They're alive, I tell you.

Thank you, though, for reminding me of the single worst line in all John Sullivan ever wrote for Only Fools And Horses.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Which, in case you were wondering and/or thought I was having a go at you, was the conclusion to a tirade by Raquel in one of the very late episodes—by which point Sullivan had all but abandoned the “com” element of his sitcom in favour of the bizarre notion that the audience was sufficiently attached to his characters to sit through whole gaping, laughless minutes of drama (cf Goodnight Sweetheart, Two Pints of Shit and a Packet of Shit)—where she rounded off her litany of complaints about Del’s fecklessness and the general inadequacy of men with the jaw-dropping line, “Remember Del—only women bleed!” The line could only have been redeemed if Del Boy had then said, “Ah, but only men can do this!”, and proceeded to do something that contravened all broadcasting guidelines ever conceived. But he didn’t.