Spanish Bar!

[webofevil]

Henceforth it is my stated ambition to one day purchase central London’s infamous Spanish Bar (frequented by, as far as I can tell, over half the population of London at some point, and yet do any of us know what it’s called?). I will change absolutely nothing about the place, except that I will turn the damn volume down.


EDIT: Okay, apparently at least one of us knows what it’s called. From that I deduce, rhodri, that you have arrived there on at least one occasion sober. J’accuse!

(“Bradley’s”? Really? You sure it’s not called “El Flamenco Ruidoso Del Toro” or something?)


EDIT EDIT: Confusion clearly abounds. After exhaustive research (the first site that came up when I googled was no use at all, and I actually had to go on to the second—can you believe it?) I can announce that the bar we’ve been going to all these years (with the exception, apparently, of rhodri) is called COSTA DORADA.


EDIT ³: All right. I have reluctantly to conclude that, rather than having made a general observation, I have merely managed to reveal that the group of people who didn't know the name of the Spanish Bar—despite everyone's habit of referring to it simply as 'the Spanish Bar’—consists pretty much of me.

I do try and avoid projecting my own experiences onto everyone else, but sometimes you can’t avoid it. It must be one of the natural hazards of being an observational comedian. “And what about being able to taste colours, huh? Aren’t you just tired of anchovies every time you see green? ‘Come and see our lawn.’ ‘Oh man, I can't right now, I’m sick of fish. Can I go and stare at your yellow rug to clear my palate?’ What’s that about? And what about colour-blind people? When they see a cricket pitch do they get, like, grapefruit? You know what I mean? You do know, right? Huh? Right?”

Comments

[rhodri.livejournal.com]

It's called Bradley's. You're right, it's loud.

[amuchmoreexotic.livejournal.com]

Is it the Spanish bar with the flamenco that you mean, or the little Spanish bar with that big jukebox?

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Flamenco! (Spanish for STAMPING.)

[rhodri.livejournal.com]

Oh, well, that street's full of Spanish bars, innit. The one nearest Oxford St is called Bradley's Bar. For many years seeminly the only place in London you could legally drink after 11pm - sometimes until 11.30pm, even.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Oh God, I know Bradley's, of course I do. A strong contender for London's Tiniest Pub, despite being on two floors. It's not particularly Spanish, though, is it?

[rhodri.livejournal.com]

In name, certainly.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Good grief, I'd never clocked that. Then again, it does look a bit like you've just photoshopped in the word "Spanish".

[femme-letale.livejournal.com]

And WHINGING, and SHOUTING and CRYING HALF MELODICALLY

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> HALF MELODICALLY

I've never heard that half.

[femme-letale.livejournal.com]

You, British! No taste, no ears...

You ARE British, are you?

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Half-Norwegian, part-British, part-Irish, non-stamping.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

What does your passport say?

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

2213645011F.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

Is the the answer to the formula "Half-Norwegian, part-British, part-Irish, non-stamping"?

I never knew that the passport office was so precise.

[nudejournal.livejournal.com]

The real question is: what is the name of the one that's a just dank cellar with some bricks and a fridge in it, that you get into by *saying* "Spanish Bar?".

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

It used to be called "Pepé's". You'd knock on the door and ask for Pepé, then marvel at the amazingly inflated prices for warm beer, the incredible overflowing toilet, and the presence of many Soho media types hanging around hoping to see some real-life gangsters and low-lifes and instead only seeing more Soho media types.

[pipistrellus.livejournal.com]

Bit late to join in, but I knew where you were talking about and the name from the start. Do I get a prize?

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Yes - you get to see your own actual username on this thread!

[femme-letale.livejournal.com]

All the names of Spanish bars in London = Predictable
Majority of tapas served in the predictably named Spanish bars of London = rank. Can we join in business and while you turn down the music and stamp for a bit I can cook something edible!

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> Can we join in business and while you turn down the music and stamp for a bit I can cook something edible!

Good plan, although even the stamping would be a bit much. Maybe shuffling around the stage in slippers instead. And we could call the place something a little less predictable, like "El Nabo Desafortunado"*.

* This title brought to you by Babelfish (http://babelfish.altavista.com).

[femme-letale.livejournal.com]

The Unfortunate Dick? Ahem...

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Excellent. Babelfish gave me "nabo" as a translation for "turnip".

[femme-letale.livejournal.com]

Nabo is turnip in the same way as Dick is Richard... The Unfortunate choice of the word 'unfortunate' makes the title somewhat.. unfortunate.

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

I hate to say it, but I knew it was called Costa Dorada as well. What's more, I thought I had told you that before. Now all we need to do is find out the name of the mysterious "this building" by Elephant and Castle.

[lowlowprices.livejournal.com]

I didn't know what it was called. Still don't. But who cares--why do we need to give a name to this magical feeling?
My ears are still ringing to the sound of "Can I sodomise your Vacher's?".

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Tragically, I'm not. I get the impression it would spice things up considerably.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

And colour blind people don't see other things, they just see other colours, or a lack thereof. Poking fun at them is a bit like waving a placard at a blind man. It's not like there's anything they can do about it, especially if they end up buying a pink house that they thought was white.

Grrr.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> waving a placard at a blind man.

Where's the harm in that?

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

Well, nothing I suppose. In fact if it's a hot day he man enjoy the breeze.

But that's not the point, and you know it. You're being deliberately obtuse. I should know.