HBTM

[webofevil]

This is the first birthday I’ve spent alone. That’s not a whinge, just a fact; if anyone was here they’d spend half their time talking to me through the toilet door, and could even wind up with gastric flu themselves. Nor am I reading anything into this. I don’t believe in omens, which is just as well: on 1 January I opened my front door to greet the new year, and by the bus stop in front of my flat a crow was eating some sick.

I’m now into the Jesus year, which means that if you make it through the age of 33, you have officially beaten Christ. This is only the second birthday I have ever had while permanently employed, and the first in a job I actually wanted. It’s an unfamiliar feeling, and for the first time in my life I can empathise with piss-poor social workers: I would let any number of children go to the wall so long as I could hang on to my livelihood.

So: not doing badly, then, apart from whatever the hell’s going on in my stomach and my consequent avoidance of solid food for, what, three and a half days now. cornfedpig suggested I have some birthday soup with a tealight in it. I might just.


Not actually my cake, but exactly the kind of cake a Web of Evil should have

Comments

[strictlytrue.livejournal.com]

Happy, yet sickly, birthday! See you soon.

[nudejournal.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday! Surely you just have to beat 33 and a third? Do you get a telegram from the Holy Ghost?

[ultraruby.livejournal.com]

HBTY!
HBTY!
HBDH
HBTY!

Wooo! I hope you feel better soon, dude.

[ruudboy.livejournal.com]

I think that to win, you have to get past the Easter of your 34th year.

Happy Birthday webofevil

[judge-death.livejournal.com]

Happy/Get Birth/Well Day/Soon

[besskeloid.livejournal.com]

GWS, Birfdy Bloke.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> ice the toilet seat

Ooh, not bad. Can you get toilet paper with hundreds & thousands on it?

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the HBs. Theologians and mathematicians cannot agree about the exact date on which you break the Christ barrier, but a compromise deal was worked out whereby from your 34th birthday all clergymen have to curtsey to you on sight.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Thank/Hope You/So

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

TYVM

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. I suspect in a couple of hours I'll be feeling worse for a while, though, as I snapped while I was getting a DVD in Blockbuster and got some lightly salted "Dippas" and some dip. It was my BIRTHDAY and I needed SOLIDS, goddammit. No doubt I'll be paying for that later on.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

You will indeed see me, if I'm ever able once again to venture more than 20 yards from my own damn toilet.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

Happy birthday hun! That Jesus - what a loser.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

You could just cut out the middle man and float the tealight in the toilet bowl.

[carakins.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday. Hope you had as good a one as you could! Fantastic cake.

Happy

[slackhack.livejournal.com]

Barf-day x

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Did he have his own website? I don't think he did.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> Hope you had as good a one as you could!

I just saw Spirited Away for the first time, so, yes.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Isn't that a Martha Stewart tip?

Re: Happy

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

I've been trying to come up with a punning rejoinder, but to no avail, apart from weak nth-generation "jokes" involving the word "crap". I choose to put this down to still not being 100%.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

I believe it's from her latest book.

[ex-cornfedpi814.livejournal.com]

Or if he did, what would it be? www.webofthetrinity.com or something lame. JesusChrist572@hotmail.com.

[chiller.livejournal.com]

The guy wouldn't even drop a heavy book on a mouse. He'd like ... forgive them or something. Which, yanno, cool, but it doesn't exactly keep the butter free of footprints, does it?

[pageantmalarkey.livejournal.com]

Happy Birthday! As it were. Feel better soon, else we can't give you the bumps.

[rainsinger.livejournal.com]

Happy Belated Birthday!

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

> we can't give you the bumps.

Exactly. Currently, there's no way that would end well for anyone.

[webofevil.livejournal.com]

Belated thank you!

[new-brunette.livejournal.com]

I've been forced to friend you because of your awesomeness. I too am in the Jesus year and will ensure that if I, too, make it through, I'll arrange for your canonisation (or at least, elevation to the papacy).