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Profoundly Misleading Headline award
“Whale spotted in central London”
What, leaving Stringfellow’s with an unnamed female friend? “She’s my niece. No photos!” cries the whale as it bundles her into a taxi.
My Norwegian relatives will be devastated to learn that, despite living 10 minutes from the Thames, I have no intention of haring up there with a harpoon, a knife and fork and a napkin tucked in to my collar. This is partly because I’ve been struck down with gastric flu and am incapable of haring anywhere, and partly because a pilot whale makes a tasty snack for ABOUT TWO YEARS. I’d be sick of it after a fortnight; plus I’d have to buy several more freezers. Monstro’s going to have to find itself another Ahab.
H R Geiger's original design for the pilot whale
What, leaving Stringfellow’s with an unnamed female friend? “She’s my niece. No photos!” cries the whale as it bundles her into a taxi.
My Norwegian relatives will be devastated to learn that, despite living 10 minutes from the Thames, I have no intention of haring up there with a harpoon, a knife and fork and a napkin tucked in to my collar. This is partly because I’ve been struck down with gastric flu and am incapable of haring anywhere, and partly because a pilot whale makes a tasty snack for ABOUT TWO YEARS. I’d be sick of it after a fortnight; plus I’d have to buy several more freezers. Monstro’s going to have to find itself another Ahab.
H R Geiger's original design for the pilot whale