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A while ago in Worthing I had a Chinese takeaway. My fortune cookie said:

So more a reassurance cookie, then—or, depending on how you take it, an “It’s not all about you” cookie.
Recently I had another Chinese takeaway in Worthing because why the hell not. This time my fortune cookie was more abrupt:

Or, put another way, stop consulting damn fortune cookies.
The second one is even better if you imagine it being barked at you by an irascible elderly Chinese man.

So more a reassurance cookie, then—or, depending on how you take it, an “It’s not all about you” cookie.
Recently I had another Chinese takeaway in Worthing because why the hell not. This time my fortune cookie was more abrupt:

Or, put another way, stop consulting damn fortune cookies.
The second one is even better if you imagine it being barked at you by an irascible elderly Chinese man.
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