webofevil: (yikes)
The UK national threat level has now been downgraded to:

webofevil: (*gulp*)
People with memories may remember that the slightly heightened state of alert in the UK is Black Special. Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] agent_snow, we now have a confirmed sighting:

webofevil: (Default)
I apologise for my earlier levity regarding the Government’s defence alert system. I know you’ll all join me in taking much more seriously this tried and tested code, whose full expression is “Bikini Red”, “Bikini Yellow”, “Bikini Black Special” and “Bikini Black”.



Fig. 1: The highest state of security alert in the United Kingdom



[livejournal.com profile] muffledsqueak has posted, championing the great lost alert code: “Why does everyone forget Bikini White?”

I admit that it wasn’t included in my briefing because it’s not included in the Government handout I was working from. Bikini Black is our standard alert state, which means it’s acknowledged that there might at some point be a terrorist attack somewhere perpetrated by someone. This has been true since someone invented the concepts of “resentment”, “anger” and “violence”. Some swift research later, I now know that Bikini White is the state below that. For us ever to stand at Bikini White would mean that global peace and universal brotherhood had finally been established, possibly due to the second coming of Christ.



Fig. 2: Bikini White
webofevil: (Default)
Young [livejournal.com profile] strictlytrue from Streatham writes: "What are the gradations of alert again?" Well, although I’ve mentioned the basic alert colours before, the full list is as follows:
- Black
- Black Special
- Carling Black Special
- Fear Of A Black Special
- Blackadder Christmas Special
- Young Special and Black
- Amber
- Black Again
- That Effect You Used To Get On A Typewriter When The Key Hit The Black And Red Bits Of The Ribbon At The Same Time
- Rosé
- Red
- Black
Now you'll have no excuse if you try and storm Parliament on the wrong day.
webofevil: (Default)
The standard UK Government Alert State System is as follows:
RED indicates that a UK interest is believed to be the target of an imminent terrorist attack.

AMBER indicates that domestic or international events suggest that there is a SUBSTANTIAL threat to UK interests.

BLACK SPECIAL indicates that domestic or international events require the need for additional security to address the INCREASED LIKELIHOOD of a threat of terrorist attack against UK interests.

BLACK is a STANDARD level of security to address the ever-present general threat from terrorism to UK interests.

What other important coding system contains the same colour twice? Does the Home Office printer only do three colours? How are they intending to convey our current status visually anyway? “Are we at Black Special, Terry, or have the electrics gone again?”

Is ‘Black Special’ perhaps not all that special? Or is it a separate colour after all, dipping into the outer frequencies on the colour spectrum that we can't actually see?

Is this meant to confuse the enemy? Could the enemy be any more confused than us?

Whose, ultimately, the fuck idea was this?

December 2015

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